


From The Desert, They Came

by Bonemarroww



Series: From The Desert, They Came [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Chuunin Exams, Developing Friendships, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonemarroww/pseuds/Bonemarroww
Summary: She didn’t seem to mind him. Which was good. He didn’t mind her either.Or when lonely awkward Gaara makes a friend (though he isn't sure how he did that).~Takes place during the Chûnin Exam arc.~
Relationships: Gaara (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Gaara (Naruto)/Reader
Series: From The Desert, They Came [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748215
Comments: 94
Kudos: 290





	1. From The Desert, They Came

**Author's Note:**

> Because Gaara always deserves some more love, no matter what he may say.

Sometimes, it feels like only running into a wall can take you out of your thoughts. On the morning before the incoming Chunin exam’s first trial, Anka Rukushika found this to be quite literally true, as her brisk walking was suddenly halted when a foreign body crashed into hers; or more likely, the opposite.

The shock of the collision made them stumble, and the young girl closed her eyes in embarrassment, waiting the fall. Much to her surprise, it never came. With a sound of gravel being crushed and the feel of an arm keeping her from invading the poor soul’s personal space, Anka felt the eventuality of her face meeting the ground less and less likely.

After a second, she dared open one eye, and then the other.

Her victim and saviour appeared to be a young man with fiery red hair and seafoam eyes circled by black. Her eyes immediately fell on the kanji marked above his left eye; “Love”. Despite his excellent idiot-catching skills, his slightly widened eyes betrayed his surprise at having a young girl thus falling on top of him.

Realising she was still pretty much pressed against him, Anka quickly backed away, offering the boy a contrite smile.

“Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going…” She bowed as she apologized.

The boy didn’t answer. He was looking strangely at his left hand, which bled slightly from where he had gripped a nearby wall to avoid falling with her.

“Let me make it up to you.”

Anka quickly grabbed his hand with one of her own, delicately turning it to get a better look at the small injury. It was really just a scratch, but she wouldn’t allow her inattention to bring harm to anyone. Her other hand hovered over the torn skin, and with a simple gesture, like pulling an invisible thread, the wound immediately disappeared, along with any pain he might have felt. _It was almost as if it had never been there._

“There, it’s all better.” She smiled good-naturedly at the quiet young man.

As she was about to excuse herself and walk by him to get to the training grounds, where she had to meet with her team, he spoke.

His voice was low but distinct, a bit raspy, and frankly, quite imposing.

“How?”

Anka blinked in confusion.

“I’m sorry?”

His eyes squinted slightly.

“How did you do it?” He spoke a bit louder.

Thinking he was probably wondering about her healing him, Anka chuckled and shrugged, feeling her cheeks warming up a bit. It was weirdly flattering how much people asked about her abilities, medic Genins being quite rare as things were.

“I just took the pain away. It’s what I do.”

She saw his lips part, as if he was about to speak some more, when a voice called for her from behind him. Turning to see who had interrupted them, Anka was met with the sight of both of her teammates some distance away, who were looking at her oddly. The obvious wariness in their looks had her on edge, and she frowned.

The red-haired boy brusquely left, leaving unsaid whatever he was about to inquire.

Anka watched him walk away, noticing for the first time the massive gourd strapped to his back. What an odd encounter.

She watched him disappear at the corner of the next street, before her name was called again. Startled, Anka turned to her friends, who had run to join her, their tension still quite apparent.

“Anka, are you okay?” Yue asked, apparently checking her for any trace of a commotion; as if she couldn’t heal herself.

“What? Yes, of course.”

Their frantic behaviour was starting to worry her. Had they caught a fever or something? They were never this agitated.

“Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?” Asano insisted, putting both of his hands on her neck to check her vitals.

Frowning, Anka batted his hands away. She knew them to be the kind to fuss over her at the littlest sign of danger, but she could take care of herself. Did they seriously think she wouldn’t have healed herself if anything, anyone, had hurt her?

“I’m fine, but seriously, what’s wrong with you guys?”

Both of her teammates exchanged a look. Asano shook his head, irritated, and Yue beckoned her to move towards their usual training spot.

Maybe it was the Chunin exam getting to their heads. Spirits knew she was worried about them as well. Still, she couldn’t shake the image of the emotionless face of the boy she had run into earlier. Sure, he hadn’t shown very violent emotions before her team had interrupted their discussion, but she had still been able to discern his surprise and confusion. So, there had been something. When they had called, glaring at him in defiance, there had been nothing. His gaze had been empty; almost as if she had imagined what she had seen earlier.

“Do you have any idea who you were talking to?”

Anka shrugged at Asano’s question, still frowning. How was that important? She had crashed into him, apologized, erased all harm she could have cause.

“I guess not, but he was rather nice.” She defended herself.

Sensing their friend’s growing impatience, Yue put her hand on the boy’s forearm, taking things into her own hands.

“He is a Shinobi from Suna, known as Gaara of the Desert.”

Anka blinked, their words not fully sinking in. She felt like she had heard this name before, but where? She would have remembered meeting him before.

“His own village is afraid of him.” Asano added. “Better not to cross his path.”

They didn’t say the word, but it was transparent in their worry and the violence of their words. Was the boy she had healed a… monster? She had felt no ill intention on his part. She had run into angrier people; he had been quite tame, letting her touch his hand like this.

“What would he be doing here?” She inquired.

It was Yue’s turn to frown. Obviously, she wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I heard he came to Konoha with his siblings to pass the Chunin exam, though I wonder why they would come to this exam in the first place. His siblings are much older than us and already accomplished ninjas. Maybe…”

The medic Genin’s mind blanked when she heard her team mate mention the exam. What a way to have what little hope you entertained stolen from you.

When their Sensei had told them of the incoming exam, she had been enthusiastic. She and every one of her friends and people she had trained with for years at the Academy were going to have this exam together. She had quickly been disillusioned when she had come to understand that most of this exam would consist in fighting said friends, and then when it had become apparent that the chances of all of them succeeding in said exam were quite scarce.

Anka was not a fighter. For all she could heal, draw seals and be a decent support in her team, she could hardly keep an offensive on her own.

Her Sensei had attempted to reassure her, saying that her skills as a healer were precious and would probably guarantee her a graduation as Chûnin, if only so she could bee appointed a proper medical Jônin mentor. But what of her team? What if she pulled them down?

And now, her own team was telling her that their enemies would be skilled indeed.

How encouraging.

For all her apprehensions, nothing could break Anka’s elation at having succeeded the first part of the exam. It hadn’t been too difficult; what she lacked in strength and will to fight, she more than made up for in knowledge.

Smiling serenely at her team, she admired their enthusiasm and determination. Yue had unabashedly cheated for the whole duration of the exam; not one for thinking much. Thankfully, her skills in looking over people’s shoulders discreetly (obtained by years of experience being a dunce beyond all repairs) had been enough for this one. Asano had once again used his organisation skills to make the most of his surroundings; coming several weeks before to plant the littlest mirrors everywhere in the room, which had just now served to reflect any answer he might not have.

Now that she was feeling all the tension from the past few days quickly fading, Anka allowed herself a deep breath of relief. As they were leaving the grounds of the Academy, a foreign sensation stilled her.

Feeling a weight on her shoulders, she turned to catch a boy staring at her. Not just any boy; this Gaara of the Desert her teammates had warned her about. Of course, he too was a part of this exam. When she met his gaze, he didn’t advert his eyes; unashamed to be caught staring.

Anka smiled.

She didn’t exactly know why, but she felt the urge to go to him. Talk to him. Maybe apologize some more about the incident the day before. See that he was not the violent killer her friends had made him out to be.

Who was she kidding? Of course she knew why.

 _“He is a Shinobi from Suna, known as Gaara from the Desert.”_ Yue had said.

The boy squinted his eyes, probably confused as to why she could be smiling at him this way. Her cheeks felt warm when she turned back to her friends.

It was the same evening Anka gathered the courage to speak to him. She hadn’t exactly planned to do it so soon; but when she had exited the little party a couple of the Konoha Genins had thrown, he had been there. The sun had not set long ago, and the sky was still somewhat orange and pink from the last rays of sun.

He was alone.

He watched her walk up to him, her hands in her pockets in a seemingly relaxed stance.

“They say you’re from Suna.”

He tensed slightly, but she didn’t feel any threat from him.

He didn’t answer. There was nothing to answer.

She smiled, and extended her hand for him to shake.

“Anka Rukushika. My family is from Suna too.”

She saw the surprise in his slightly widened eyes; but his expression was still guarded. After a few seconds, when it became apparent he wouldn’t take her hand, she retracted it into her pocket.

“Gaara.” He still offered his name.

His answer felt like a small victory. One could almost say they were having a conversation. Yue and Asano’s concerns were lying empty at her feet, as she turned slightly towards the street.

“Will you walk with me?” She offered.

The boy didn’t answer, but followed beside her when she took a few steps in the direction of her district. Anka realized pretty quickly that she would have to coax him into conversation, for he appeared to be a rather quiet young man.

“I’ve never been to Suna.” She looked down.

She felt him look sideways at her. Everything in his demeanour told her he wasn’t used to small talk, or even talk, for that matter. It was heart-warming then that he did bother to humour her in conversation.

“You said you were from there.” His voice was low and strong, but not that intimidating.

One who listened well could hear he was making an effort, and Anka was a rapt listener. What effort he was making, she had an idea. He was, after all, the only foreigner she had never seen talking with anyone. Not even within his own team. His siblings, Temari and Kankurô, often whispered among themselves, but from the first moment Anka had seen them together, it had appeared as if there was almost a invisible wall between them and their younger brother.

How long had it been since he last talked to someone?

“My family is. My grandmother was just a bit older than we are when she was banished, along with her husband.”

Her tone was light, almost teasing; she made it obvious that she didn’t hold a grudge against his native country. The story wasn’t by all means _well known_ in Konoha; but a fair amount of people knew of their origins, and they had never meant to keep it secret.

Her walking companion kept quiet for a while, obviously deep in thought, before he spoke; barely a whisper.

“I see.”

Sensing his confusion over her intentions, and willing to give him time to think about it in peace, Anka shrugged, and lifted her gaze to the sky. The stars hadn’t yet appeared, but they would before the bells rang the next hour.

“Why?”

Looking at Gaara from the corner of her eyes, she noticed he wasn’t looking at her. He marched at her rhythm, yet purposefully; gaze focused straight ahead. For some reason, this made her smile. He was obviously unused to walking with someone; let alone a girl.

“My grandmother was a healer in Sunagakure. The Third Kazekage wanted to make her his wife, but her heart belonged to a Shinobi under his command. She vowed not to have any man if she could not have her lover.”

She saw him blink in what she thought was recognition; but she didn’t know him too well. For all she knew, it could be annoyance; but she liked to think he wouldn’t hesitate to leave if he ever came to bore of her presence.

There was another silence, and they walked by the park adjoined to the entrance of her district. Soon, she would be home, and she would leave behind his severe yet oddly agreeable company.

Anka hadn’t expected him to speak; yet after several moments, he looked at her from the corner of his eyes, and his lips parted.

“I know this story.”

Having him acknowledging her presence doubled her surprise at the words he spoke.

“It is said the spirit of the Kazekage, in his fury, will let the sandstorms rage on the people of Suna until the healer returns as his bride.”

This was the longest he had spoken in their short acquaintance, and it would be lying to say Anka didn’t feel the slightest bit proud. His tale was one of violence, yet she could feel it devoid of any reproach.

“May he one day be appeased.”

This earned her one more mysterious look, and she slowed her walk at the sight of her house. She stopped in front of her door, and looked once more at the sky. The sun had finally set, and one could behold the night sky; discreet stars on a black veil.

Her eyes found the intense seafoam gaze of her companion’s, and she smiled apologetically.

“I am afraid I have to leave you for tonight, Gaara. It was nice walking with you.”

The Sand Genin apparently understood her meaning, as he looked once at the house, before turning on his heels without another word.


	2. Roots

In the days that followed, Anka started to notice the Sand Genin more. It felt like wherever she went, she saw his team. Granted, her team only appeared in public places, and had always suffered from a serious lack of imagination when it came to choosing places to train in. Maybe it was just her moment with him the day of the exam that had made her notice his presence more.

Several times, she caught herself staring at him, admiring his soft features and harsh glare. Her team had noticed, naturally; Yue becoming stupidly protective of her, and Asano surveying their rivals from Suna.

Not that it mattered, at the end of the day, as it was Gaara who sought her out.

“Will you walk with me?”

He had walked up to them at the end of their training, every bit composed and clean, contrary to their sweaty and exhausted forms. Yue and Asano had watched him approach with wariness, and Anka, with surprise. He hadn’t appeared to her as the kind who would seek to further their acquaintance, especially by coming to her when she was in company.

Still, when he had completely ignored her teammates and repeated her words from a few days before, she had seen his effort as what it was, and nodded with an encouraging smile.

“Of course.”

Her friends had protested, that she shouldn’t go with him alone; and while they did not call him a threat to his face, they might as well have for the mistrustful looks they had sent his way as they talked lowly to her.

Anka let it fall in deaf ear; for no one could have dissuaded her from getting to know better the Hidden Sand Ninja.

She didn’t ask where he wanted to go. She knew that, just like the other day, walking was only a pretext. An opportunity. The destination wasn’t important; only mattered the travel. And so, she let their steps guide her further into the forest behind the waste grounds she had been training in with her team.

If Gaara wanted to take her somewhere else, he didn’t protest.

It took a long time before any of them talked. Anka was the first one to break the silence.

“I apologize for Asano and Yue. They can’t help worrying over me sometimes.” She chuckled. “It’s fine by me, it shows they care.”

The boy didn’t answer, but she could feel he was listening to her.

They walked some minutes after that, until Anka forfeited. Stopping to lean against one of the trees, she sent her companion an apologetic smile, and let herself slip into a sitting position against the trunk.

“I’m sorry, I think I went at it a bit too hard during training. I just need to rest for a while.”

Once again, the ninja from Suna stayed silent; but after a few moments, sat on the ground as well, a few feet away from her. Anka closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

“They are brighter in Suna.”

The girl almost missed Gaara’s first words since asking her to walk with him, so low they were spoken. Confused, she furrowed her eyebrows, before opening one eye to look at him funny. His expression was as guarded as usual, but he was looking at her almost expectantly.

“I don’t understand.” She admitted after an instant.

She was worried that Gaara would give up on the conversation if she did not comprehend what he was telling her. He obviously was new to the art of making friends, and she feared he might be embarrassed not to make himself understood.

“You were looking at the stars.” The boy explained, looking away. “The other time.”

Oh. Anka couldn’t help the small, stupid smile on her lips. So he had watched her after all.

“My grandmother taught me how to read them when I was little. She said it is the first thing one must learn before venturing in the desert.”

She closed her eye again. The tree was more comfortable than she would have given it credit for before this day.

“My father never learnt. He hates what Suna did to our family. He always strived to become the perfect Konoha shinobi, with the perfect Konoha wife, and the perfect Konoha daughter, so that someday people would forget the blood in his veins isn’t theirs.”

Before she knew it, Anka felt her pleasantly sore muscles relax.

“I don’t want to forget.” She whispered tiredly. “I want to be proud.”

When Anka woke up, the boy from Suna was still here, his eyes focused on her form. Despite her embarrassment, she couldn’t help but notice that he seemed closer than before; and the perspective that he had probably watched her sleep was creepy enough to make her shiver through her stretching. Still, Anka was much more mortified to have fallen asleep on him like that.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Her cheeks flushed bright red in embarrassment, and her eyes trailed everywhere else than on her companion. “You should have woken me up, I’m a terrible friend.”

She hid her face behind her hands. She did not even want to know how long she had slept. The sun certainly looked lower in the sky; her parents had to be worried. And what of her team! She knew them well enough to know that they would never let her go with a strange foreigner with a ‘serial killer vibe’ (Yue’s words) and not come check on her later at her home.

What was she going to do?

She thought she heard Gaara mutter something, but her ears were ringing with all the blood rushing to them and the sound of rustling fabric drowned his voice as he was getting up. Not wanting to be more of a burden, she quickly got up as well. Ignoring the slight light-headedness of too much blood rushing to her head at once, she breathed to compose herself and finally take her hands off her face and dare a shy look towards the Sand Genin.

Gaara was looking at her in his usual detached way, as if looking through her.

“Tell me I didn’t sleep too long.”

His eyes flashed to the sky and back to her.

“You slept a couple of hours.”

His emotionless voice didn’t help. Anka couldn’t judge if he was mad at her or not, and instantly felt terrible all the same. She could only imagine how vexed he probably was.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

The boy didn’t speak again, only nodded in the direction they had come from, signalling her it was more than time to go. Anka followed with a heavy heart. She didn’t know how she would be able to face him in the next few days.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” She inquired, still blushing.

Gaara looked at her from the corner of his eye, before focusing his gaze back straight ahead. He seemed undecided, almost uncomfortable. How she knew that, Anka couldn’t tell; his face was just as expressionless as usual, she just had this… impression… when she looked at his composure.

For a while, he simply did not answer. Though it didn’t help with her mortification, at least, he wasn’t spouting reproaches at her.

“You needed rest.” He simply said after a while.

By that time, they were almost out of the woods. For some reason, Anka knew this was where they would part ways. The edge of the forest was both terribly far and worryingly close. If there was anything she had to say, it was now.

Decided, she slowed her steps, just enough time to turn towards him.

“I would still have liked to spend more time with you awake than I did asleep, Gaara.”

For an instant, the boy seemed almost startled, before he curtly nodded and walked on. In a couple of strides, she caught up to him, and they emerged from the forest together.

The sun was setting upon the waste grounds. From there, it was still a good quarter of hour of walking and she would be home. Her thinking was interrupted when a voice yelled her name, followed by the sound of rushed steps towards them.

“There you are!” Yue all but threw herself at her, pulling her against her chest. “You had us worried. Your parents are going to kill you.”

The stronger girl sent an ugly look at the redhead, all the while pulling Anka against her, as if she was going to shield her from a danger. Still, she didn’t comment more. When Anka managed to free herself from her over-protective friend, the Sand Genin was already well on his way, going in the opposite direction from her house.

_Gaara entered the house quietly, prepared for the scene to come. He knew neither his siblings nor Baki would be thrilled to see him come so late, after going missing for the best part of the afternoon._

_He wasn’t wrong; as the first thing he saw when opening the door was the stern face of the Jönin._

_“Who died?”_

_Baki was not known for beating around the bush. Gaara stared at him for a while. It would be easy to kill him. That way, he could answer to what was expected of him. It would feel alive maybe. But he knew better. Not that the Jönin could stop him; and neither could Temari and Kankurô. It was just not to be done._

_“No one.”_

_The boy noticed how Baki squinted his eyes, clearly not buying it. If he were to be honest with himself, Gaara himself was a bit surprised. Never had he spent so much time outside, alone with an easy prey, and not killed anyone. Not for a long time, anyway._

_Silently, he went to lock himself in his room, ignoring the way Temari and Kankurô watched him do so. Taking off his gourd, and carefully placing it next to his bed, Gaara sat down for the night. He knew at this hour, and mostly after being missing for so long, Baki wouldn’t let him get out again before at least the next day. His punishment for disappearing without a warning. Baki knew how little Gaara liked to be contained inside for too long; especially at night when everyone was asleep, and there was nothing but the voice in his head to distract him from the silence._

_Briefly, Gaara wondered how it would be to sleep. The Kohona girl had made it look like something enjoyable. She had fallen asleep, smiling. Falling asleep in his presence. His heart had beaten strong when he had realized she had put herself in such a vulnerable state, right beside him. Was she not conscious of the danger she had put herself in?_

_Yet, the boy hadn’t really felt the usual yearning for her blood to splatter on the ground and decorate the trees. It had been different, unlike anything he had lived before. He hadn’t felt the need to cover her in sand and end her life. Yet it hadn’t been the same either as being in the same room as Temari, Kankurô and Baki when they slept. He hadn’t exactly felt alone the same way he usually did when his siblings were asleep and he was not._

_Even in their slumber, they would shift away from him, as if conscious of the threat he was to their lives. The Kohona girl had slept facing him, not once jerking away when he had come closer to better examine her. She hadn’t been afraid._

_In fact, never in their -admittedly short- acquaintance had she made him feel unwelcome. She had come to him when she could have run. She had said she would have liked to spend more time with him. He knew falsehood when he saw it. She had been earnest in her quest to know him better. She had called him a friend; at least, he thought she had._

_After a moment, he uncorked his gourd. Some sand flew to his hand, resting in his palm. Gaara mindlessly played with it, thoughts still on the Konoha girl._

_He couldn’t remember the last time someone had talked to him as though he wasn’t the monster inside. She didn’t seem to mind him. Which was good. He didn’t mind her either._

_The monster had been quiet with her, urging him to get closer. To feel her heartbeat and make it his; but not in the violent way he was used to._

_When he opened his hand again, the sand had taken the form of a desert rose, the crystal’s weight light and pleasing against his palm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let this chapter be posted in honor of The Disworker, my computer charger, which has given up the ghost yesterday. May it travel safely to Silicon Heaven.  
> Seriously though, of all time it could stop functioning, it had to be quarantine! I am cursed haha.


	3. Littlest Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you see random spaces cutting words in half, it's okay, it's just AO3 being a bit glitchy today.)

The second eliminatory trial was almost upon them. Anka had trained hard with her friends, so that she wouldn’t hold them back during the survival trial. They didn’t know the particulars, only that all the participants would be having the test at the same time, and that it would be both survival in nature and confrontation with the other teams.

Asano and Yue had been even more enthusiastic than usual, but Anka couldn’t help having her fears coming back to taunt her.

She didn’t doubt the abilities of her friends. Asano was a  fine strategist and his Taijutsu was fairly good ; and Yue was basically unstoppable once she got into her battle trance. It was herself she doubted. Being a healer was a rare gift and she was as proud of it as she could be; but in this instance, she couldn’t hep but doubt its utility when it came to such exams.

They would see what tomorrow brought to them, but until then, Anka would be lost in restlessness.

As Anka walked near Ichiraku’s restaurant, she smiled and looked up. In the past two week s , there had hardly been a day when she hadn’t seen Gaara at some point, if only to say hello or wave from the other side of the street. She had walked with him several times as well, to the great displeasure of her team; though by now, they had gotten used to it and stopped commenting every time they saw her smiling his way or coming back from a walk. 

The days after her falling asleep with him in the forest, he had been all grumpy; she had first thought he was still vexed for the time she had made him waste, but after catching sight of this Jönin from Suna discreetly observing from a roof, Anka had understood that the source of his irritation had nothing to do with her. He was followed. When she had noticed, she had mischievously offered they could go somewhere more private, and so she had taken  him through one of her favourite ‘secret’ passages: her maternal aunt’s shop, which’s back door led to a covered garden that in turn led, after several doors leading to various accommodations, to the river near the thermal sources. It hadn’t been enough to deter the Jönin, who had found them again after a few hours of search ing , but it had lifted Gaara’s spirits, and therefore her own.

Gaara hadn’t spoken about him, and Anka hadn’t asked. They had spoken of Suna and Konoha, both reasonably “safe subjects” that were neither too personal (she had found out Gaara didn’t care much for talking about himself, and even avoided the subject altogether if she asked) nor too superficial. Unsurprisingly, she still made most of the conversation, but his presence and eventual inputs in the talk were pleasant and interesting.

She hadn’t yet seen him smile, but she guessed he was content enough with her, if he willingly  followed her every time she offered.

But back to Ichiraku’s.  From what he had told her, the little apartment they were renting was just in front of the shop, with a balcony. She hoped she might catch him there, seeing as she had something reasonably special to show him today.

Unfortunately, when she arrived in front of  where she supposed was  their apartment , no redhead was waiting for her on the balcony. Instead, she saw the young man with the makeup, the one who usually had this  big white thing strapped to his back. He was looking down on the street, apparently bored. He didn’t seem mean, but Anka knew her team would rip her head off if they knew she was considering addressing him. 

Before she could think to do it, though, the boy noticed her, his eyes widening slightly. Did he recognize her? She had never been in contact with him before, and all the times she had approached her Suna friend, he had been alone.

The young man looked behind him in what she identified was anxiousness , before glancing at her again, apparently hesitating. 

Curious, Anka came closer.

“Hi.” She awkwardly greeted him. “Is Gaara here?”

She saw a flash of uneasiness in the young man’s expression.

“He’s in a bad mood. You should leave.” He talked quietly.

The Konoha Genin was confused by the Sand Sibling’s behaviour, but she guessed there was no point arguing with her friend’s older brother. A bit disappointed, she still bowed to him in respect and thanked him for his information. As she was about to walk away, she heard a raised voice coming from the  house, that she did not recognise. Anka knew it was not her business, but  a part of her still was curious as to whom it could be. The next minute, the door opened to reveal an obviously agitated Gaara. He barely glanced at Anka, before marching up to her and catching her wrist in his hand to pull her into walking away.

Anka sent a curious look behind her, to see the puppet boy shaking his head disapprovingly at someone the angle of the house prevented her from seeing.

The grip on her wrist got tighter, and she focused her attention back on Gaara.

In a bad mood indeed. Any tighter and she would be sure to be sore, but she didn’t want to slow him in his obvious will to get further away from his current house.

None of them spoke for a good quarter of an hour, the time it took for them to get away from the village. Only then did Gaara loosen his grip on her, and started to relax the littlest bit.

Eventually, he led her back to the same spot she had taken  him to when they were escaping the Jönin following him. It was secluded enough to be private, but not too far away from the village so that they wouldn’t have to leave early to be back before sundown.

They both sat down, Gaara breathing deeply, obviously trying to forget what had made him so angry in the first place. Anka gently pr ied her wrist from his hand, whic h inevitably brought the forming bruise to his attention . 

She watched out for his reaction, and saw something akin to a flash of regret in his usually faultless mask of indifference. Something really must have upset him, if he was loosing control of his expression like this.

“Hey, it’s fine.” She told him, smiling to make him relax. 

She showed him her injured wrist, and with the other hand, concentrated her chakra on healing. Within a minute, the red mark had disappeared, and the pain with it.  Gaara’s hand twitched, inching towards hers the smallest bit, but stopped long before reaching her skin. 

“Are you okay?” She asked , a bit worried for her friend from Suna. 

She had never seen him so agitated. Gaara seemed feverish, though he had calmed considerably since they had arrived here. It contrasted strongly to his usual composed face and cold demeanour. Was it possible that he was nervous about tomorrow’s trial as well? She couldn’t believe it. Gaara was the embodiment of confidence.  Not in the pompous way she could see in some of her comrades; he simply knew his skills and didn’t seem to fall prey to hesitation.

He seemed surprised by her question; his teal eyes searched hers for a moment. If he found what he was looking for, she didn’t know. He looked once again at her hand, and spoke more softly than she had ever heard him do.

“Healing…” Gaara seemed deep in thought, his gaze lost somewhere between her hand and the grass on which they sat. “Must be nice.”

Anka shrugged, still feeling rather blue about the upcoming trial. Sighing, she brought her knees against her chest, and let her  head rest on them.

“It is, but… Sometimes I wish I could be stronger, like you or Neji-san. That way I wouldn’t be so useless when it comes to battle.”

Gaara looked at her curiously after her admission.

“I thought you were proud.”

A little sad smile pulled her lips. 

“I am. Have you never felt proud of something, yet envious of others?”

His empty eyes turned thoughtful. It felt good to talk about it to someone like Gaara. She knew he wouldn’t judge her for it, or try to reassure her the way Yue and Asano would, by telling her she was stupid to feel this way.

His friend from Suna was obviously in awe of her ability to heal. He made her feel listened to.

“I’m afraid to be a burden for my team. Whatever happens tomorrow, I’ll give it my best for them. Still… It would break my heart to be the reason they fail.”

Her fingers played idly with the grass in front of her. Gaara just looked at her, neither blaming her nor approving her words. He was simply there. She could feel he wasn’t used to comforting people. He seemed a bit lost, not knowing what to say and therefore keeping silent.

“Anyway…” Anka shook her dark thoughts from her head. “I wasn’t looking for you so I could talk your ear off with my insecurities. I have something more interesting to discuss!”

Her mood suddenly lifted as she stretched and turned to grab something in the shoulder bag she had brought especially to meet with him. She pulled a small box from it, about the size of her hand, that she opened before Gaara.

Inside were little biscuits, shaped like clouds and covered with a thin lemon frosting.

“I made these this morning. Grandma’s recipe. She makes them every year; she says they remind her of her youth in Suna. They’re probably not perfect, I mean, we don’t have all the same spices you do in Sunagakure, but apparently they’re pretty similar. Want to try them?”

She thought she saw his cheeks flush the slightest bit, and Gaara hesitated to take one, before Anka took one for herself and bit into the sweet enthusiastically. She loved these biscuits. Seeing her pleasure at sharing this particular part of her life with him,  the boy prudently brought the sweet to his lips and munched on a small bit. 

His face immediately lost some of its grave expression, and Anka chuckled when she saw him quickly finish the treat and look up to her as if asking for another. The Konoha Genin pushed the box closer to him, and elatedly watched him take another. 

“I’m glad you like them.” She grinned. “Are they much like the ones in Suna?”

The boy shrugged, looking down. Anka lifted an eyebrow in confusion at his answer, before he clarified it.

“I had never eaten one before.” 

Anka felt the rumble of laughter in her belly, but she didn’t want to come off as laughing at him.  Not that Gaara looked too embarrassed by his confession. He was much too busy looking at the biscuits that remained.

“How come you never had one before? I heard they’re pretty  typical .”

She didn’t expect an answer; least of  all the one she got.

“It’s commoner’s food.”

Her surprise must have been clear on her face. She hadn’t known he was, well, she still didn’t really know who he was in Suna, but she had guessed he and his siblings were regular, if quite gifted, Genins. The way Gaara had just spoken, they were high blood or something. 

“I’m sorry for presenting you with commoner’s food,  _ your grace _ .” She teased, her good humour making her jest obvious, even to him. “I will strive to do better next time.”

She completed her act with a little exaggerated bow to him, and when she lifted her gaze again, his eyes were squinted, but he had a hint of a smile on his lips. This was the first time he smiled in her presence. 

Playfully, she gave him a little shove ; barely a flick on his arm.

“I knew it!” Anka  let out a joyful shriek. “I knew you could smile.” 

Surprised at her outburst, Gaara touched his lips, feeling their slight curve. 

“It suits you.” She decided. 

As if to prove her wrong, the boy frowned. It amused her greatly, and she did not doubt such harmless teasing was, to a certain level, appreciated as well by her friend. She wouldn’t have it any other way, nor would she subject him to it if she did not think he would welcome it.

They sta yed quiet after a while, Anka lying on the ground watch ing clouds, while Gaara stayed sat next to her, occasionally  picking a biscuit when he thought she was not paying attention. 

When the sun started to decline, and she knew she had to get home before long, so that her family could celebrate with her the eve of her second trial, she could feel Gaara somewhat reluctant to leave. It warmed her heart, though she knew there was absolutely no way she could stay any longer. 

They reached a compromise when she asked him if he would walk her home, and he  simply  got up and started walking towards her district, opposite the place he currently inhabited.

Anka looked up at the sky, as they were getting back to the edge of the village, and frowned.  Perched on a nearby roof, the Jö nin from the other time was still observing them. He was barely concealed, apparently not caring much if they knew he had followed them. Looking at Gaara form the corner of her eyes, she knew he had noticed too. 

Anka didn’t ask. There was no point asking a question she knew he wouldn’t answer.

When they got to her home, and stopped in front of her door, Anka gave him the biscuits box. He had seemed to like them, and she could always have some at home. He thanked her politely, trapping the box carefully in his gourd’s strap.

As she was about to wave and get into her home, he surprised her. Out of nowhere, he handed her what looked like a small crystal made out of some kind of rock, which’s shape kind of reminded her of a flower.

“This is a desert rose. I want you to have it, as a token of my respect.”

Surprised as she was, it took Anka a moment before she gingerly took it from him. Immediately, she admired it in her palm. Its details were delicate, and its rough texture appealed to her with a word foreign yet familiar.  _ Sand. _

W hen she lifted her eyes again, it was with an honest smile and lightly flushed cheeks.

“Thank you, Gaara.”

With that, he nodded briefly before walking away. 

At this point, Anka only shook her head, amused at his brusque ways, and slipped the crystal in her pocket. 

Gaara never said goodbye when he departed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the Forest of Death, and so I feel intellectually obligated to tell you that I haven't watched this arc in many years, and wrote about it from memory. This fic was originally only supposed to begin after Gaara and Lee's match (only part of the arc I have watched again), so you'll have to excuse me for the timeline errors.  
> Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter ! Don't hesitate to comment if you feel like it ;)


	4. When Death is a Forest

Anka swallowed in nervousness. The second phase was upon her. Asano and Yue had woken up extra early this morning to get her out of her home, by force if necessary (which it hadn’t been). They had arrived at the meeting point early, to discover that most of the other teams had done so as well. Gaara and his siblings were here too. When she saw him, her hand immediately came to thumb the desert rose in her pocket. Somehow, it gave her courage.   
When the Jönin was finished explaining everything, and started giving the scrolls to the teams, she subtly checked for which one she had obtained. Sky scroll. Instinctively, her eyes looked for Gaara. He was looking at her as well, a question in his eyes.   
She knew she shouldn’t tell him. Lips pressed into a thin line, she sent him an apologetic look. It didn’t seem to deter him, for he looked up pointedly, and then back to her. The exchange hadn’t lasted more than a second.   
It was a dangerous thing he had just done. Anyone could have seen. It spoke volumes of what level of confidence the Suna Genin had in his skills. It was like he knew he would succeed at this trial.   
Anka let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and sent him a relieved half-smile. She nodded slightly towards her own team, hoping he would understand.   
They had the same scroll. There would be no need for confrontation between them.   
“Anka.”   
Her name being called by her teammates startled her. When she turned towards them, she immediately noticed the worry in their eyes.   
“Do you feel ready?”   
Taking a big inspiration, she nodded. No more backtracking. She would be brave today.   
“Let’s go.”   
  
Several times during their trek through the Forest of Death, Anka let her mind wander back to her moment with Gaara just before the beginning of the second phase. She hadn’t doubted for an instant that he had meant the truth when he had given her the information regarding his scroll. It either meant he trusted her enough with this information, or that he was confident enough to think they didn’t stand a chance against them. One thing was sure; she would make sure not to have to fight him.   
“Who do you think we could take on, three on three, if we had to get their scroll?”   
Asano frowned at her question. In front of her, confident as ever, Yue said they could probably fight anyone; but she was always an optimist when it came to combat. She was strong enough to make it difficult for anyone to subdue her, but in such circumstances, there were other factors to take into account; one of them being Anka’s aversion to open fights.   
Surely Yue couldn’t take on a full team, yet that would be closer to the reality of what she would have to do to make them win.   
“We have our chances. Sasuke’s the only dangerous element of his team, and Yue could easily keep him occupied long enough for us to steal the scroll. Same goes with Shikamaru. I am less certain for Neji’s team; Lee and Tenten are almost as dangerous. I wouldn’t advise fighting Shino’s team either. As for the foreigners, I don’t know them well enough. Those from Oto don’t look as dangerous as the others, so we could probably try them if we don’t have a choice. Do you think we could stand a chance against the Sand Siblings?”   
Conscious of his calculating look, Anka shook her head vigorously.   
“Your guess is as good as mine on this one, I’ve never seen them into action. But we won’t have to fight Gaara. I think he’s got the same scroll as we do.”   
Upon her sharing that bit of information, Yue gave her a scandalized look.   
“Do you _think_ or are you _sure_?”   
Anka suddenly felt very small, very young in front of their serious gaze. They obviously weren’t thrilled at the implication of her statement. She looked down sheepishly, muttering her answer.   
“I _know_.”   
Asano squinted his eyes at her, obviously evaluating her faith in that statement.   
She stood his gaze, and after several moments, her friend relented.   
“Fine. We’ll still keep an eye out for them.”   
In the way he turned his back on her, Anka knew this was far from over. She had broken their trust, and she would surely hear about it again as soon as they would be out of danger.   
  
“Anka! Their scroll!” Asano yelled at her, as he was busy fighting off a girl.   
They had been in the Forest of Death for nearly a day. Soon, the night would fall, and it would become increasingly dangerous to protect their own scroll. They didn’t have any quarrel with the Ame Genins; but time was starting to be short and they hadn’t encountered any other group since the beginning of the phase, save one that had immediately revealed they had the Sky scroll as well.   
They had then been attacked by a wild tiger-bear in look for its next meal. The encounter had considerably weakened them, on top of being a waste of munitions. Yue had almost had her arm ripped off; and if it wasn’t for Anka’s healing, she might have not recovered its use as quickly.   
This Ame group was their only chance. They hadn’t had the time to ask what scroll they had; as soon as their positions had been revealed, their opponents had attacked. They were probably just as desperate as them, and unwilling to lose time and surprise advantage.   
The opposing team was composed of two boys and one girl. Yue, already well into her fighting trance, had pounced on the two poor boys, keeping them in a storm of close attacks, while Asano had lunged for the girl.   
Anka had identified their scroll in one of their packs, which Yue had ripped off the back of one of the boys when she had first attacked them.   
Without hesitation, Anka sprinted towards the pack, quickly taking the prized item. She didn’t check it right now; there would be time for that later.   
“Got it!” She yelled.   
As soon as she said the words, she felt an excruciating pain in her hip, where a kunai had lodged itself in a desperate attempt to prevent her from stealing their possession. She groaned in pain, before taking the feeling away with a flick of her hand. She didn’t have time to heal it, but she could at least take away the disagreeable sensation until they were safe.   
A part of her knew this was dangerous. Not feeling the pain didn’t mean the wound disappeared. Running away would seriously worsen her condition. Alas; they didn’t have much choice.   
“Retreat!” Asano shouted in answer, giving a dizzying punch to the girl to make sure she wouldn’t follow.   
The two Konoha Genin started running away, leaving Yue behind them to watch their backs. Once in relative security, Anka took her whistle to her lips, and briefly blew into it. To her ears, no sound came, but she knew her friend could hear it, what with her dog-like hearing.   
Several moments later, an exhausted but satisfied Yue emerged from the woods behind them, and they set off to get as far from the recovering team as possible.   
No one said anything, but the same thought was running through all of their heads; let it be an Earth scroll.   
When they finally stopped, Anka felt exhaustion fall upon her as well, and before she knew it, she had unceremoniously crashed on the ground, uncaring if it would dirty her clothes or if she fell on a poisoned plant. Her left leg was uncomfortably throbbing, her uniform getting increasingly wet and hot with blood.   
“Shit, Anka, are you okay?”   
Asano came to kneel beside her, frightened at the sight of the blood-tinted clothing on her hip. His hand came to rest on the kunai, hesitating.   
Anka groaned in frustration, trying to reach the weapon with her hand.   
“I’ll do it, just wait a moment…”   
The medic Genin barely felt it when her friend ripped the metal from her flesh, but she could feel the sudden dizziness of losing too much blood, too fast. Her hand glowed with what little Chakra she had left from healing Yue’s arm, and put it on the wound to stop the blood from flowing. She knew her limits, and knew she wouldn’t be able to do much more than just prevent the bleeding, but at the moment, something was better than nothing.   
“Are you okay?” Yue asked from behind her.   
Anka just nodded, breathless.   
“I’ll be ok. Asano, the scroll, it’s in my pocket.”   
The boy caught the scroll, and nervously pulled it from her pocket.   
When he stayed silent, after a minute, Anka closed her eyes, feeling empty.   
“It’s Sky, isn’t it?” She whispered.   
  
The mood in their makeshift camp had considerably soured ever since they had opened their second scroll. Speak of a chance. To have only encountered people with their same scroll; it was an oddity in numbers.   
Yue had tried to lighten their moods, saying they could maybe find a group who would be willing to trade; but what for? Most groups must have already found their match at this point, and to be honest with themselves, they were not fit for another confrontation. Their prime fighter had already over-used her ability, and though she wouldn’t admit it, the longer Yue remained under her fighting spell, the less likely she was to recognise friend from foe. It wouldn’t be safe for them to have another battle. Asano hadn’t told her, but she could see in the way he consciously rubbed his ribs that he must have cracked one when the Rain girl had fought him off.   
Not to even speak about herself. More intent on recovering her strength than she was on testing what little she had of it left, Anka didn’t dare to evaluate the state of her leg. Her shy attempts at moving it had been nothing glorious, and she was very much afraid she had torn a muscle while she ran away.   
She slept for a few hours while Asano, who was in the best shape out of them all, was standing watch. Her slumber was interrupted when Yue suddenly jerked from her resting position, listening intently.   
Motioning for them to stay silent, she closed her eyes to listen better.   
After a few minutes, she opened them again.   
“There’s something wrong with Kiba’s team. He wouldn’t whistle this much otherwise.”   
Anka sat up, sending her a worried look.   
Ever since their academy days, their squad had always been pretty close to Kurenai’s team. Yue and Kiba were close friends, on top of being cousins (they had been basically heartbroken to be separated into two squads) and Anka had befriended Shino early on in their lives as well, what with one of her mother’s sisters marrying into the Aburame clan.   
All in all, trouble for team 8 usually meant trouble for them as well.   
“Should we go and help them out?” Asano asked.   
Anka grimaced as she checked her injury; still raw and deep, she didn’t want to imagine the internal damage would ensue if she tried to move now.   
“I’m not going to lie, I don’t know if I’m in a state to move anytime soon.”   
The other girl stood up, and anxiously started pacing.   
“If I answer their call, it will give away our position to them, and spirits know how many beasts still creep around here. But they took a risk in giving away theirs, so it must be pretty important.”   
Anka considered their position, and the two useless scrolls in her backpack.   
What worse could come, that hadn’t already happened? She trusted Shino not to have come up or agreed to such a twisted plan as to steal their scrolls, but even if they did, it’s not like they would have to fight, considering they had two identical scrolls.   
“Call them over. I trust them.”   
Yue looked over to their other friend, who nodded as well. She then took one of her whistles with trembling hands, and blew into it strongly. As usual, no sound came out that Anka or Asano could hear.   
After a few seconds, she stopped, and sat down next to Anka.   
“Now we wait.”   
  
As much as she had wished to remain awake to welcome Kurenai’s team, Anka found herself still weak and sleepy, and by the time they heard rustling in the bushes, followed by a couple of curse words, the medic Genin had almost fallen asleep again.   
Asano was quick on his feet when the first telltale signs of people approaching had first been heard, and so was Yue, after a barely repressed yawn. Anka, for her part, had almost forgotten the state her leg was in, and had staggered on her attempt to haul herself on it, before falling back on the ground with a grunt of pain.   
Unsurprisingly, it was just as sharp as it had been a few hours before; worse even, yet she didn’t dare take it away, for fear that she might injure herself further.   
What a pitiful sight they made, she mused, when Kiba, Akamaru, Hinata and Shino emerged from the woods.   
“Are you all okay?” Hinata asked, obviously worried about them.   
“We’ve been better.” Asano smiled with relief at the familiar sight of their friends. “Are you?”   
Hinata lowered her head, anxious. Only then did Anka take the time to properly evaluate their state. The Hyuga girl seemed in a good enough state, which didn’t surprise her. She was skilled at Taijutsu and her Byakugan surely helped in avoiding their enemies. Still, she put her weight more on her left leg, indicating she had probably suffered an ankle injury somewhere along the way.   
Shino’s coat was dirty and a bit torn, and one of his glasses was cracked; not to the point of endangering his eyes, but enough to disturb his sight. He also sported a nice bruise on his cheek. His expression was as unreadable as usual, but Anka thought he did look relieved to see them as well.   
The worse of the damage seemed to have been received by Kiba. While he didn’t look too injured himself, his demeanour exuded anxiousness.   
“Akamaru’s injured.” Kiba answered curtly.   
Obviously in distress, he carefully removed his bag, and pulled the little dog from it. Anka sat up as much as she could to better see the state he was in. The poor beast was wheezing, a serious looking wound on his abdomen. Kiba explained Akamaru had caught two shuriken in a row and had lost a lot of blood. They had patched it up as well as they could, but he was afraid of leaving his companion too long without proper healing.   
“Anka, I know you probably have your own injuries to think of, but could you please look at him?” Kiba’s gaze was serious as he asked.   
In fact, the medic Genin had never seen him as deadly serious. The boy was usually known for his constant good humour and teasing, but she knew that he could be responsible in times of crisis.   
“I’ll do my best.”   
The dog-lover gave her his dear friend, and Anka laid him on her thighs. Kiba had done right by coming to them. The wound was placed in a way that it could only get worse if the pup was to be moved around a lot.   
Concentrating what was left of her chakra in her hand, she gently rubbed the beast’s tummy, and let her palm hover over his injuries. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, imagining the tissues reconstructing themselves, the wound closing. She had always found the process of picturing the wound getting better to add to her efficiency.   
Anka only stopped when she felt herself getting dizzy. When she opened her eyes again, the fur on Akamaru’s abdomen was as smooth as it had always been. One could hardly believe the little dog had risked his life this day.   
“He’s out of trouble.” She proudly announced, smiling weakly as she felt herself flirting with exhaustion.   
Kiba was quick to pick up his little friend and hug him tightly, promising never to let that happen again. Hinata exhaled with relief, as Shino crouched next to the healer.   
“Your wound looks bad. Can you move?”   
Anka shook her head.   
“I don’t think so.”   
The bug boy nodded in deep reflexion. The two teams eventually sat down as one, sharing the little fire Yue had made earlier in the night.   
For a time, everything was silent between them, except for Akamaru’s happy snoring on Kiba’s lap. They were all considering, yet not daring to address, their unexpected union. They were supposed to be chasing each other. It was hard to forget the truth of the exam, while at the same time staying on guard for any possible attack on their little camp.   
Eventually, it was Shino who broke the silence.   
“We owe you.”   
Hinata bowed her head and Kiba protectively held Akamaru against him.   
“Yeah…” The boy with the dog sighed. “If you need our Earth scroll, it’s yours.”   
The news didn’t come with the relief Anka had expected when she had considered the moment they would finally have the two scrolls they needed to get out of this spirits-forsaken forest.   
It didn’t feel right to take this opportunity from them. Not even if it meant they could progress in the exam. They had known each other for many years, and knew their team deserved to become Chûnin just as much as they did.   
“I think I have a better idea.” Yue interjected.   
The fighter fished the scrolls from Anka’s backpack, and opened them to reveal their respective words to their friends.   
“We have two of the scrolls you need and you have one we do. We’re in no fit state to risk another battle… alone. But y’all look like you still have some strength. If we join forces, we could easily subdue another group, get one more Earth scroll, and we’re all out of here. What do you say?”   
Light immediately got back into Kiba’s eyes, and he grinned at his teammates. Hinata, who had been sort of slumped since agreeing to renounce their scroll to them, seemed to revive at the idea. There was no way to properly evaluate Shino’s mood, but Anka thought she saw a small smirk beneath his coat.   
“We’re in.”   
  
_Gaara looked at the moon. The full moon had passed the day before, but he could still feel bothered, flustered. He was perched on the roof of a dojo just opposite the exit of the Forest of Death, which he had walked out of with Temari and Kankuro the morning before. Easiest trial he had ever seen. He could still feel the exhilarating feeling of having these Sound nin at his mercy, trapped into sand coffins. How blood had decorated the ground, the trees, and the faces of their comrades before he killed them too._  
 _They had been congratulated, too. No team had ever finished this trial so quickly, and without sustaining any injury._  
 _Baki had been there to wait for them. He had treated his siblings somewhere; Gaara hadn’t cared. He had just stayed behind, watching who would next come out of the Forest of Death. When the night had fallen, he had been displeased not to have seen the Konoha girl come out yet. She was weak, he had then remembered. She needed more time._  
 _The moon had risen, and now was low enough in the sky that he could already see the first rays of sun. Once again, discontentment roared inside of him._  
 _Finally, the massive door at the edge of the forest opened, and he squinted his eyes to better discern who came out._  
 _First, he saw the dog idiot, his idiot dog on the shoulder, and Gaara frowned in anger. Still not the Konoha girl. He was losing his time. She had probably been too weak, and gotten eaten somewhere in the forest. He shouldn’t care. Why was the thought not pleasant?_  
 _Resolved that he did not care to know if she had gotten through the trial or not, Gaara stood up. He would know soon enough anyway. And if she had died, fine. Death would have come for her someday anyway. Death always came eventually._  
 _But right then, as he was about to leave, and after the white-eyed girl walked through the gate, appeared the boy with the dark glasses. And in his arms, the girl who Gaara had waited for almost a day._  
 _Something immediately stirred inside of him. She looked unconscious, and the Sand demon pressed his hands to his head as it started to hurt. He did not care if she was dead. He was not supposed to care if she was dead. Why did it hurt to hope she was not?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From what little I can recall, the Forest of Death is immediately followed by the preliminaries for the finals, but I've always thought it was kinda weird. I mean, the trial in the forest can last from a couple of hours, for the quickest groups, up to a few days. I don't think they could make the earliest teams (especially the Sand Siblings) wait for days in the same place...  
> Anyway that's why I have arbitrarily decided there would be a gap between the Forest of Death and the preliminaries.  
> More fluff for y'all !
> 
> Also, in my first drafts I lowkey wanted Gaara to help Anka by killing another team and leaving the scroll where she would find it. Still, I don't think Gaara would do something like that, at this stage of their friendship. He's intrigued but still pretty much selfish and detached and simply wouldn't think to do such a thing for someone.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, even if there isn't much of our favorite boy in it! There will me more of him in the next few chapters, rest assured.


	5. White-Lit Chamber

“I hope you thanked Shino . Not every boy would have carried you out like a princess !” 

Anka smiled gently at her mother’s light teasing. Her parents had been notified of her presence in the hospital as soon as she had been dropped off there.  The nurses had seen to her friends as well, and Yue had put it upon her self to stay with her until her family  could come.

When she had woken up, it was with her mother by her side. She had been a bit disappointed to learn that her father had been sent on a mission as soon as she had left for the trial, and that he should not be back before a few weeks. But to be honest with herself, she hadn’t expected anything different. So was Atsuhiko Rukushika; forever Konoha’s most diligent servant.

“ I haven’t had the time to see him yet, but I will as soon as I can, I promise. ”

She was saved from increasingly personal questions –the kind only a mother or a nosy best friend could think of– when she noticed a presence watching them. The door was slightly opened, and she could see one half of Gaara standing behind it, watching her. 

Her eyes immediately lit up. It had only been a couple of days, but it felt like she hadn’t seen him in much longer. From what she could see, he appeared to be in good health, which reassured her greatly.

“You can come in!” She called out to him in relief.

She could feel Gaara’s reserve, but he did open the door wide enough so he could slip in the room. Her mother had already taken the seat next to her bed; but somehow, Anka knew even if that had not been the case, Gaara was not the type to sit on anyone’s bedside. Not even hers.

As she turned her head to look at her left, hoping to introduce the two, she noticed her mother’s eyes widened in something that was between recognition and elation. While Anka was not by all mean displeased at the enthusiasm displayed by her mother, she did not dare hope her mother wouldn’t embarrass her like she did most of the time when a boy was involved. She hated being ashamed of her mother; but she was sometimes too silly for her own good.

“Mom, this is Gaara,  a friend I met during the exam. He is very skilled, and he  shall do great things in the future. ” She turned to her friend, who was watching her c uriously. “Gaara, this is my mother . I owe her my clumsiness, so it’s kind of thanks to her that I met you.”

Anka knew in the look her mother sent her that she would have to explain that statement later, but she also knew her humour was making the introductions easier. Even with the weeks of their acquaintance, she had yet to see Gaara speaking to anyone else but her and his own party; she attrib uted it to a kind of shyness. After all, she had been the one to seek him out, yet he still came to her now and she knew all he really needed was a little push. Right now, she was already impressed he had accepted to come in and be introduced to her family. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you! My daughter has spoken of you often, and always in the best of words.” Mrs Rukushika smiled charmingly at the boy.

If Gaara’s face was perfectly schooled and did not betray anything, Anka had learnt to read his stance, and the way he discreetly put his weight on his right leg indicated some discomfort on his part.

“Likewise.” He still managed to answer politely, if coolly; but Anka did not think her mother would notice, in her eager frenzy.

Still, Anka decided it would be best to s top the introduction right now while things were good, before any of them embarrassed themselves.

“So, mom, now that Gaara is there to keep me company, maybe you could go and rest for a bit? You’ve been up since early this morning, I would hate to deprive you of your sleep.” She strongly hinted, looking at her mother in the eyes.

A battle of will ensued, but eventually, Mrs Rukushika raised an eyebrow, and lifted her hands in surrender. She would just have to ask extra questions w hen she would see her daughter again. 

“Right. I see I am no longer desired here. Be good, children!” She teased as she left the room, not without a certain spring in her steps.

Without her mother, the room suddenly appeared very quiet. It had been a few hours since she had woken up, all of them spent telling her mother about the trial, and listening to her  gushing about this or that; and Anka suddenly found herself quite tired. A more quiet companion would be very much welcome, she figured as Gaara took to leaning against the wall closest to her bed. Close enough, but still out of reach; it suited him, she decided.

For a long time, and true to  their habits, no one spoke. Anka closed her eyes and relished in the comfortable silence; something she hadn’t had in a while. 

For once, Gaara was the first one to speak.

“You’re hurt.”

The girl opened her eyes again. For some reason, her friend looked angry. Anka turned slightly on her side, to relieve some of the pressure on her hip. 

“I’ll need crutches for a while, but I’ll be good as new before the next phase, don’t worry.” She sent him a bright smile, to ease his mood. 

Seeing as his eyes squinted,  it didn’t work as well as she hoped for.

“Why can’t you heal yourself?” He asked, almost accusingly.

If Anka didn’t like seeing her friend thus disturbed, she did feel flattered that he cared enough about her not to want to see her in pain.

“I’ll need the pain to heal properly, otherwise I might do a poor job weaving the muscle s back together and end up with a long lasting limp. My grandmother will take a look at it  when I’ll see her . She knows much more about healing than I do.”

The boy stayed silent, and the injured Genin stifled a yawn. She didn’t want to miss his company, for the time he stayed here, and so battled against her aching muscles and  slow thoughts.

“Are  _ you _ okay? I heard you were out of the Forest pretty fast.”

It took a while for Gaara to react. He did not seem to like her changing the subject from her injuries, apparently unconvinced she would be fine. He only shrugged in response, looking away and out of the window. From the room, one could see the courtyard of the hospital, where a couple of patients were walking. Some of them were Genins, and Anka did not doubt some of her friends would soon make a tour of all th e rooms to exchange information and wish themselves well. She was already surprised no one had barged in to find the Sand ninja in her room.

“Are you going to stay in Konoha until the next phase? It’s still a month away.” She inquired timidly. 

She liked having him around, and surely would miss their walks if he left for Sunagakure, but she figured he was bound to miss home too. From what her grandmother had told her, it was  only  a three days trip to  get from one capital to the other; it wasn’t impossible that his team and he had planned to go back at some point.

“Yes.”

His concise answer made her smile to herself, rather stupidly, one might say. After a few moments, he cleared his throat; a gesture Anka immediately found very cute, giving him a somewhat awkward, vulnerable air.

“Are  you leaving?”

Anka opened her mouth to answer by the negative, already anticipating the few weeks of training and hanging out with her friends, when a conversation she had had with her mother earlier flashed back in her mind.

_ Grandma thinks  _ _ it’s time you learnt.  _

The girl breathed, and looked away before answering.

“ I’m going to Kohaku to see my grandmother, so that she may teach me more . It’s the first village that welcomed  her  after  she was  exiled. I’ll be leaving  in a week or so , and come back just in time for the next phase.”

Gaara acknowledged her admission with an irritated exhalation. For a reason Anka couldn’t quite grasp , she felt bad for leaving him. She knew he didn’t have many friends in Konohagakure; time must feel long for him until he could go home as a Chunin. 

“It’s my family’s safe h aven. It’s close enough to Suna; on good days, dry air carries from the desert. Grandma can never stray too far from there; it’s the closest to the life she left behind. I’ve spent all my summers there, ever since I was a kid.”

Getting quickly tired of her position on her side, Anka let herself fall back on her back, groaning in pain when her right hip pressed on the bed. She real ly couldn’t wait to get better. She wasn’t comfortable enough to sleep well, even though she regularly took the pain away. No wonder she was tired enough to feel her eyelids getting heavier.

She’d just rest her eyes a moment.

“Gaara?” She called after a moment, feeling herself slip into the Dream King’s domain. 

The boy hummed, only sign he was still there.

“Thank you for visiting me. It’s really nice of you.”

_ Here she was again, falling asleep next to him. Something was really off with this girl; self-preservation instinct alone prevented his siblings from falling asleep in the same room as him. Yet this stranger –not that he could really consider her a stranger anymore– was there, two feet from him, nodding off peacefully.  _

_ Once again, he wondered what was so wonderful about sleep that she evaded him for it twice already. Her face was peaceful, but he could already see her pupils move behind her eyelids. Her fingers were moving slightly as well. Gaara had never dreamt. Not in the way others did it. The only –few– times he had tried to sleep, when he was younger, he had been plagued with terrible nightmares. It was before he was aware of the beast  _ _ inside. He could barely recall _ _ any of it now, but it had been one reason why he had stopped sleeping altogether in the first place. _

_ Now, he wondered... What would it be like to close his eyes just for a while? Would he enjoy it like she seemed to? Improbable. Whenever he did close his eyes for longer than a blink,  _ _ It _ _ called to him, and the confrontation was never terribly pleasant. _

_ Silently, he waited until he was certain of the profoundness of her slumber. Then, he curiously got closer to her, ignoring the slight hum in his chest, the satisfied rumbling of the beast. His hand found the slim throat of the Konoha girl, only just resting there. His thumb applied some pressure, then immediately released, drawing small circle-like motion on her carotid.  _

_ The sound of coming steps interrupted him before he could figure out if he wanted to press or not. His hand left her throat lazily, and when the door opened, he was a safe distance away from the unconscious body. _

_ In came the blond idiot with the whiskers like markings on his cheeks. The boy considered him with a surprised gaze; not exactly anxious or wary, but definitely unsettled. _

_ Gaara bypassed him, getting out without a word. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the positive feedback! It's very encouraging and never fails to make me very happy. I will be posting the next chapter (which is one of my favorites) in 4 to 5 days, like usual.  
> Hope you liked this chapter, and have a nice day y'all !


	6. The Kindly One

As per usual, they met silently. She had come looking for him in front of his apartment, waving at Kankurô, who had once again been gazing at the crowd coming and going. The young man with the facepaint had gone inside the moment he saw her, presumably to tell Gaara his friend was here. She didn’t know the young man very well, had never really talked to him, but he looked like a nice enough fellow. Or maybe it was just the cat ears.

Anyway ; her friend had appeared at the door less than a minute later. He hadn’t looked too surprised to find her in crutches, though he did give her hip a nasty look if she ever knew one. It had been a few days since they had last seen each other at the hospital. Anka had allowed herself the time to heal and rest a bit before seeking him out. They did like to walk together, and her leg just wouldn’t allow her that yet. She had healed it enough to be able to walk for some time, but unfortunately not that much. 

Gaara led her, walking at his usual slow pace, only this time she was trailing slightly behind him. She did not ask where they were going; most of the time, they just followed each other until they found some remote place where no one would watch them as if she had grown a second head –something she had been sad to notice was a rather  common phenomenon. It was as if no Genin from two different villages had ever been friends before. 

Eventually, she recognized the edge of the woods behind the bathhouse, where they had been a couple of times before already. 

She gratefully sat –fell, really– on the ground, under the shade of a tree, when Gaara gestured for her to rest. He sat himself a foot from her, on her  left . For a moment, they just watched the steam rise from the chimney of the bathhouse, circling in the air.

She would leave the next day.

“I’m going to miss you when you’ll be back to Suna with you r family.” She truthfully stated.

The boy looked at her, apparently confused. She could almost see his thoughts  swirling in his eyes with a mix of distrust and vulnerability. Anka immediately felt her heart soften at this sight. Gaara had obviously not heard such things frequently.

He didn’t ask why she would miss him, but it was almost as if he did. 

“I like you.” Anka opted for the blunt way of making him understand. “Do you think you’ll ever come back to Konoha, after the exam?”

The boy let out a short breath that, if she did not know him better, she would take for a scoff.

“Unlikely.”

Anka adverted her eyes, embarrassed, at his cold answer. It did not sting like rejection exactly; he was simply honest after all. She preferred being told the truth rather than being promised stars and offered dust. It was true that Shinobi rarely found the occasion to visit other lands. It was probably the first and last time Gaara would be in Konoha.

The thought made her feel quite blue, and so she remained silent. Beside her, she felt Gaara somehow fidgeting, as if sensing he had put a stop to the conversation. Any other day, she would have reassured him that it wasn’t what he said; but it kind of was, and she would leave the next day and leave him behind for a long time.

So, when he spoke, his voice wavered from awkwardness.

“You could come to Sunagakure?”

His hesitating compromise didn’t make his previous statement any less depressing for Anka, but it was nice of him to have tried.

“Unlikely.” She smiled sadly at him , echoing his previous words. 

Only then did he seem to remember whom he was talking to ; Anka of the Rukushika Clan, born into exile and damned to it. Gaara frowned, and looked away as well. 

After a while, Anka stretched her arms above her, and breathed deeply. She didn’t want the last time she would see him before a few weeks to be thus depressing. If they would part  ways , it would be on good terms.

Looking for something to talk about, her eyes fel l on the kanji on his forehead. She crou ched up and moved to sit closer, just across  him. He faced her curiously, giving her plain view of it.

“Why ‘Love’?” She dared address a question that had been burning on her tongue for the entirety of their acquaintance. 

His pale eyes darted to her, and she knew he was evaluating whether she was worthy of his confidence on this subject. Whatever he saw, Anka did not know, but when she tentatively lifted her hand to gently touch his forehead, he did not shy away from her touch.

“To remember that I am only to love myself, for no other could ever love me.”

His words hit her like a strike to her chest, taking her breath away in the process. Her hand left his warm skin to curl across her heart. 

His voice was as collected and unemotional as he usually was; as if he was not aware of the latent violence of his statement. As if it made perfect sense.

“Gaara…” She spoke his name softly, because she did not know where to begin. “Love does not work like that . Love is meant to be shared.”

His gaze was empty as she brushed his  kanji again, her fingers tracing gently the marks. She hadn’t given much thought to the nature of the marking on his forehead before, having assumed it was a tattoo. But now that she was feeling the  rough, uneven skin, she knew it  to be a scar, and an old one at that. 

Her hand stilled when he breathed in; but he did not look too uncomfortable.

The thought that he believed in what he had said made her frown. Her traitor hand tested her luck by moving from his scar to the short –and surprisingly soft– hair above his ear. Once again, the boy did not  move , as if waiting her next  gesture .

“You are loved, even if you can’t see it.”

Gaara closed his eyes, apparently quite partial to her hand playing with his strands of hair. He breathed deeply, and  Anka wondered how long it had been since he had last slept. She did not believe the black circles around his eyes came from sleep deprivation; but the large bags under them sure did.

“My siblings are afraid of me. So is our mentor, and I haven’t spoken to anyone else  other than you for years.” He quietly explained. “I don’t need love. I’m fine with myself.”

Anka felt her heart aching for him. She did not know a thing about what it was like for him in Sunagakure, or anything related to his past, but she knew no healthy childhood could lead to such a fatalist take on life. He had obviously been alone for so long he did not remember what it was like having anyone else but himself to cherish. 

And what else did he have but himself? What would he become if he did not care for himself the way others should, what if he lost the only thing he had?

The healer vowed never to let him feel this way in her presence.

“Love doesn’t work li k e that.” She repeated. “ You don’t choose whether to love or not, to be loved or not. It just happens. And I can tell you I have it on high authority that you are very much loved.”

This made him open his eyes, as if surprised, and she smiled at him sweetly. When she pulled her hand back from his head, for a second he followed her movement, as if not wanting her to stop.

“I’m going to try something. Don’t freak out.” She warned him.

Immediately he sat still in front of her. Slowly, as to not surprise him, Anka  got closer to him, invading his much cherished personal space. Her arms encircled him, as she delicately pulled him against her. Gaara was slightly shorter than her, and so his face ended up muffled in  the fabric covering  her  heart , while she  put her chin on his shoulder. She could feel him unmoving, still and stiff as a wooden board. Eventually, after a few seconds of just her embracing him, her hands respectfully on his back, he relaxed slightly and mimicked her movement, awkwardly returning her embrace by pulling her flush against him. 

“How does it feel?” She murmured, tracing feather-light patterns on the small of his back with her fingers.

Gaara didn’t answer immediately, and she could feel his beating heart against hers,  still beating somewhat fast from his previous anticipation . He was breathing a bit more deeply than he usually did, but she couldn’t say whether it came from unease or whatever else. 

“It’s not painful.” He said eventually, voice a bit hoarse.

Anka startled away from him at his comment, leaving his arms to look at him properly, head tilted in confusion. It was like he had expected something else.

“Of course not. Why would it be?” 

When he didn’t answer, the Konoha girl knew he had been talking to himself as much as he had been answering her. She accepted that it would remain one of his many mysteries.

“It’s an embrace. It’s a thing people do when they care about each other. Friends, family, partners. It’s a way of showing love.” She explained.

The boy from the desert looked at her in a sort of shy disbelief, but she could see in the way his cheeks were ever so slightly pink that he had rather appreciated her arguing his take on life. It made her burst with pride.

Noticing they were still sitting quite close to each other, and deciding that Gaara had probably received enough of a lesson on being loved for today, she moved back to sit against the tree trunk on the spot she had previously been occupying. Her fingers were still tingling from having touched his scar, and her everything still felt like sparkling water from having been so close to him, physically and emotionally both. 

She could see Gaara had things to think on; his gaze was lost somewhere in the direction of the bathhouse, seeing things she couldn’t see. 

What she could see, however, was his obvious fatigue.

“You should rest.” She gently  spoke.

Startled, the boy considered her words before shaking his head. 

“I can’t sleep.” His voice was firm. 

Anka figured he was probably uneasy at the idea of falling asleep out in the open, in a foreign territory and in the presence of someone. It was understandable. Not everyone had her eager nature for sleep, nor the implicit trust she placed in the people she allowed herself to sleep next to. 

Still, she was worried about the well being of her friend. The next phase was far away, but he had to take care of himself. 

“Even if you don’t sleep, you should at least rest a little. Lie down, rest your eyes.”

It all happened so quickly. One second Gaara was fine, stubbornly looking away at her suggestion that he should rest, and the next he was moaning in what seemed to be intense pain, his hands gripping his head, knuckles white and face distorted in anguish.

“Gaara!” She called his name, immediately scooting closer to him.

His hoarse cry alerted her that something very wrong was happening. Whatever was torturing him, she could not see. His eyes were widened and unseeing, bloodshot .

If there was one thing Anka could not stomach, it was seeing someone in pain and not doing anything about it. So she took action.

First, she put her left hand on his shoulder and her right to his forehead. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she grabbed a hold of the pain; it was strong, wild, determined to escape her grasp, feasting inside his thoughts. With a sudden movement, she tore it away from him, burning it away  in a violent rush of chakra until nothing remained. Only then did her  full  attention return to the boy. 

He had stopped moaning, and was now looking in some kind of awe at her hand, obviously in shock from the vivacity of the pain and the brusque way she took it away. Anka grimaced; she knew it wasn’t healthy pulling pain away without a warning; her grandmother would have scorned her for doing so on a head  ache , but the Genin had panicked and hadn’t known what else to do to relieve her friend.

“Gaara, are you okay?” she urged him to answer,  pulling him closer.

Her heart was beating strongly in fear. Her hand on his shoulder brought him to her, bringing his head to rest on her shoulder, and with her other hand, she caressed his hair, trying to reassure them both that their fright was passed. 

“It’s alright Gaara, it’s all going to be okay, you hear? It will be alright.” She murmured in his hair, rocking him slightly.

When she felt her heartbeat slow, and she realized how tightly she was holding him, she gave him a bit more space, leaning away from him just enough to check his face. His gaze was still erratically looking around, and his  shoulders were trembling in agitation, but he did not look as disturbed anymore.

As if all of his exhaustion caught up to him, the Sand Genin  let himself fall against her, as if passing out; but she could see his eyes slightly opened, as he caught his breath. Conscious of his discomfort, Anka lowered him on to her lap, so that he rested on his side, with his head on her thighs, facing away from her. Her hand stayed in his hair, drawing appeasing motions against his scalp.

Eventually, the boy closed his eyes, and his breathing levelled. Anka kept playing with  his  strands of hair, knowing how much she loved feeling someone’s hand in her hair; she happily noticed Gaara seemed to be of a similar mind.

They stayed like this until the sunlight turned golden and then amber, as the sun was starting to descend in the sky. Anka knew her parents wouldn’t be pleased if she stayed there much longer, but she didn’t have it in her heart to disturb the boy.

Still, when he heard his name being called, her ears perked up and her eyes left the sky to consider a blonde young woman coming their way. Anka recognised her as Gaara’s older sister,  the  eldest of the Sand Siblings. 

“Gaara?” The blonde went slack-jawed when she saw the position her youngest brother was in: half lying on his friend, eyes closed and breathing deeply, all the while having his hair played with lazily.

Anka smiled at her friend’s sister –Temari, if her memory served her  well – with a pink tint on her cheeks, embarrassed to be caught in such a domestic scene.

“I think he’s asleep.” She spoke softly, excusing his lack of answer.

Immediately, she saw something flicker in the Sand girl’s eyes, something she hadn’t expected: pure terror.

“What ?! ” she exclaimed, taking a step back as if on instinct.

Anka was confused at her apparent fear, and admittedly, a bit freaked out. What could be so wrong with Gaara taking a nap?

Before she could ask, the boy stirred, opening one eye and then the other , rising off her with a sigh, eyes cold and his face as emotionless as it had been when Anka had met him that first day. It was almost frightening how fast he could build these walls around him, only to let her climb them when they were alone.

“What is it?”

His sister immediately calmed down a little, though the slight fear was still apparent. 

“Baki asked me to get you. He wants you  back now .” 

Gaara groaned in dissatisfaction. Anka smirked at the way his hair was dishevelled from her playing with it, and his clothes creased from lying on the ground. Coupled with his grumpy expression, he sure was a sight. In fact, it all gave him quite cute an air, compared to his usual perfectly indifferent and proud demeanour.

“Tell him I’m not go ing back yet.” His voice was cold as stone.

“Gaara.” His sister’s voice held a certain warning, even though Anka somehow knew the Suna girl wouldn’t dare threaten him in any way. 

Her friend squinted his eyes and kept staring at his older sister, as if his glare would make her go away . And if the fan-wielding Genin  growing more uncomfortable by the second  was any sign, he would get what he wanted.

Temari’s gaze then turned to Anka. The medic could see the wary wonder in her eyes, but also something akin to pleading. Apparently, whatever their mentor wante d Gaara for; it was important enough and should not be missed.

Deciding to end the battle of will between the two siblings, Anka put her hand on the boy’s shoulder gingerly.

“Gaara, I have to go home too. It’s getting late.” She told him in a soft voice.

His gaze immediately turned to her, and though it was still expressionless, he nodded after a few moments. Anka watched him rise up to his feet and tie the gourd on his back again. Ignoring the desire to stretch and her protesting muscles, she then got up as well, minding to take her crutches with her, so that she could walk for the remainder of the way home.

With melancholy, she contemplated the setting sun, knowing the next time it would  rise, she would be leaving Konohagakure and all of her friends.

When she looked at Temari next, she felt a silent ‘thank you’ in the way she returned her gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the universe of The Sandman, “The Kindly Ones” refers to the Furies; goddesses of vengeance who persecute relentlessly those who dare shed the blood of their kin.  
> Me? Taking every opportunity to make Sandman references? I don't see what you mean...  
> As always thank you for all the feedback, I love reading your comments.   
> See you in a couple of days !


	7. Darkest Minds

_The moon was_ _high_ _as_ _he was standing on a ro_ _of watching the stars. Maybe it wa_ _s already tomorrow. He didn’t care. When the sun would rise, the Konoha girl would be leaving the city, and in doing so she would leave him as well, alone under the Leaf sky. He could not resent her. She would come back._

_ The boy had spent nearly his whole life alone. He shouldn’t be bothered.  _

_ Yet here he was sitting, on the roof opposite her home. Baki hadn’t been pleased to see him go out again for the night, but even the Jönin need rest _ _ , _ _ and consciousness had failed his mentor. Humans were weak beings.  _

_ The Konoha girl was weak too, but he _ _ found he _ _ d _ _ id no _ _ t mind _ _ it so much _ _. She was fragile, and slept a lot. Yet he liked having her around. She checked the beast inside, somehow. He didn’t feel so different from her, when she smiled at him.  _ _ And when she touched his skin, he could scarcely feel the demon anymore. _

_ When he had closed his eyes, his head on her lap, with her hand in his hair and on his scar; he had understood the appeal of sleep. It was faded, like an old photograph, but he could see how she liked slumber so much.  _

_ Her wanted more of her. _

_ On these thoughts, he jumped to her window. It was the kind that could be opened from any side, provided you could lift it. A rudimentary lock on the other side blocked it; but nothing his sand couldn’t unlock. _

_ And so, he found himself in the Konoha girl’s bedroom. Here she was, lying on the bed, buried under her covers. She didn’t snore, but he could hear a mumble or two pass her lips; but that, of course, he already knew. Instead, he took time looking at the walls, the same way a curious mind would look at an exhibition. Framed pictures of the vandal, the boy with the glasses and herself were decorating her desk. There was one with the boy with the insects, the one who had carried her out of the Forest of Death. It must have been taken several years before, for they both looked quite young, and none of them wore the headband of Konoha. On another one, she was flat on the ground, exhausted but laughing, and the boy with the thick eyebrows was smiling victoriously at the camera with a thumbsup, looking stupid and sweaty. _

_ A loud mumble passed her lips, calling his attention back to her. Anka was sleeping on her belly, clutching her pillow against her. Her hair was loose and getting all over it, and her mouth was slightly opened. Her cover was thin, as it was almost summer and the nights were quite warm.  _

_ Slowly, he undid the buckles of his  _ _ strap, and put his gourd against a nearby wall. Freed from its weight, he rolled his tensed shoulders, and sat lightly on the edge of the bed. _

_ His head was full of the memory of earlier in the day, when she had embraced him. It hadn’t been painful. She had been alarmed when he had told her. Alarmed that he should think it would be. The Konoha girl  _ _ had worried for him right after; _ _ when  _ _ It _ _ had wanted to come out and play, and she had put It to sleep. The Konoha girl didn’t want to hurt him. The Konoha girl was good. _

_ He wanted to feel it again. The way his heart beat without hurting. She could give it to him. He wanted it now. _

_ With measured movements, he laid on the bed. He wouldn’t sleep.  _ _ But maybe he could pretend _ _ , _ _ the way he had when she had been stroking his hair. With this in mind, he turned on his side to face her. There was still a fair distance between them. The lack of pillow under his head didn’t deter him.  _

_ He closed his eyes. There it was. It was faint, but maybe he could feel it better. Maybe he was still too far. He inched closer and closer to her, drawn by her peaceful aura, until he could almost feel her breath on his hair. There, he stopped, and just laid listening to her respiration.  _

_ The beast inside was churning, uncomfortably so. It would have preferred blood; her presence was something  _ _ It _ _ was not used to. It wanted to get closer still, wanted him to touch her, to cage her in his arms and breathe in her scent. It promised  _ _ It _ _ would let him sleep if he could just get a little closer. Maybe close enough to feel her warmth against his pale, cold skin. Wouldn’t he want to share her dreams? It could make it possible. _

_ Just. A little. Closer. _

_ A part of him knew he shouldn’t wake her up, and so he moved ever so slowly until her hair tickled his nose. His heart was beating fast with the knowledge that she could wake up any moment. It was still unsatisfied _ _ ; _ _ threatening to come out right th _ _ is moment if he did not comply _ _. _

_ Shakily, he lifted his arm and put it around her waist, above the cover. It was almost as if she was pressed against him; though there was still some distance between their bodies. Immediately,  _ _ It got quiet. It was right. This feeling; it felt  _ _ better _ _. _

_ By some kind of miracle, the Konoha girl did not awake. As if sensing his presence, she nestled closer to him, until her nose was buried in his hair and her lips just above his forehead, blowing gently on his scar. _

_ Eyes closed, he relaxed his tense muscles, and breathed at the same rhythm as she did. _

A  foreign sensation on her hip as she tried to roll on her back is what drew Anka from her much beloved sleep. When her eyes opened, the first thing sh e noticed was that it was still  dark. The shadows were still long on her walls, and her eyes, still full of sleep and dreams, couldn’t see much. Her covers were pleasantly heavy and warm against her, and she could have easily drifted back to sleep. Still, something was amiss, and it didn’t take her long to discover what ; almost falling from the bed with a startled cry when she did so.

As close to her as decency allowed and then some, a boy was lying next to her.

A boy with short, spiky hair, pale skin and dark circles around his eyes. His arm was around her waist; the same arm that had just kept her from falling quite ungracefully from the bed.  His jade eyes were watching her keenly.

Her mouth felt dry when she called his name.

“Gaara ?! ” She whispered-cried, not wanting her parents –especially not her newly come home father– to enter the room and find a boy in their daughter’s bed. “What are you doing in my room?”

As she talked, she shied away from his touch, putting more space between them. Her cheeks felt hot, and she felt like she was about to faint from the sheer shock of seeing him in the last place she would have expected to find him, especially while waking up.

The Sand Genin drew his arm back to himself, apparently quite displeased to do so. He looked at her with this blank stare of his, as if not understanding why she looked like she was about to have a heart attack. As if there was nothing unusual about the situation.

Now, Anka didn’t like getting mad at him; in fact, she had never been so far. The very thought of screaming at him was something she found very distasteful. The boy looked lost at best, and obviously wasn’t very much aware of how social things worked. Still, she felt her heart speed up in confused anger at her friend.

The aspiring medic sat up, crossing her arms around herself, fighting the sudden loss of warmth of leaving her blankets. She half wondered if this was serious, if it wasn’t just a weird dream like she had plenty of times; but the weight on her mattress felt real enough, and so did the passive gaze on her.

“You can’t just come in people’s rooms when they are asleep, it’s… it’s… It’s creepy!”

Giving up half of her dignity, she grabbed the covers and brought them to her chin, hiding her form. The boy sat up cross-legged, and she noted that he, at least, still had all of his usual clothes. 

“How long have you been lying there watching me sleep?” She tried to make her voice sound as angry as she felt, but it still came out as pretty mortified. 

“I wasn’t watching.” Came his  raspy voice in a  quiet reply.

For some reason, his denial rendered her even more livid.  She squinted her eyes at him, and gestured to the window –from which he had obviously entered.

“Get out.”

He didn’t move. Anka couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw him just stay there.

“I said get out!” She hissed a little louder, feeling her heart beating in her eardrums.

Only then did Gaara slowly rise, and for a moment, she caught a dark  glimpse in his gaze; and so she pressed herself against the bed’s headboard. Before she knew it, it was gone. The boy lazily grabbed his gourd and strapped it back on, unhurried. When he reached the window, he turned one last time to look at her panicking self, before lifting the glass and disappearing in the night. 

After she heard the familiar sound of her window closing, Anka let  o ut a breath. With the source of her shock out of sight and of the room, she allowed herself a  moment to calm down, and breathe. 

The silence was making her ears ring uncomfortably; her skin was still flushed and tingling from the nearness of his presence. It took a solid minute if not longer for her heart to stop beating so fast, and when it slowed down to its natural rhythm, the full conscience of what had occurred downed on her. 

Gaara, her friend whom she trusted and liked to spend time with on waking hours had come into her room in the middle of the night, and laid on her bed as if he owned the place. And no matter how she thought about it; she knew deep down he hadn’t meant to scare her like this. Hell is paved with good intentions; and if the Suna Genin had never tried or done anything to hurt or make her uncomfortable, then surely he didn’t know it was wrong to approach her this way.

Anka groaned as she rose from her bed. There was no way she could fall back asleep after that, and she felt a bit guilty for snapping at  Gaara . The last thing she wished was for them to be on bad terms before her impending leaving.

With a tired groan, she got out of her bed, and considered the window. There was no way she would go  after him in her nightclothes.

Once in a more practical outfit, she slowly opened the glass panel. It bothered her a little to leave her room wide open -once outside, she had no way of closing the lock-, but apparently, it wasn’t a puny lock that would prevent anyone from popping in her home anyway. On these thoughts, and after taking the pain away from her protesting wound, she closed the glass panel as much as she could while crouching on the wa ll, and jumped to reach the roof of her building. The night air was pleasantly cool against her flushed skin, and before anything else, Anka lifted her head to look at the stars. They were shining brightly tonight, though the moon was only a slice of white on the dark sky.

The Genin shook her head, no need to get distracted. She had a friend to find.

Fortunately for her, it only took a c ouple of minutes to notice his crouched silhouette a couple of buildings away, under the Fish statue. The little bells attached to it were tingling in the wind, a sound she could sometimes hear from her house. She couldn’t see his face from where she stood behind him, but as she got closer, she noticed the way his shoulders were slightly trembling, his hands fisted in his hair and low growls coming from him.

Worry immediately washed over her, and when she landed awkwardly –damned leg– a few feet away from him, he turned towards her, his face contorted in an angry snarl before he recognised her. His eyes were reddened and  his gaze wary.

She was the reason he was so upset.

Slowly, as to not scare him away, she sat on the roof tiles beside him. Her arms circled her knees, and she looked down. She knew her harsh words a few minutes before were deserved, and that her shock was valid; but she couldn’t help the shame the sight of his red eyes and wariness evoked in her.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” She apologized softly.

They  stayed silent for a moment, but when she risked a look up, she was grateful to discover Gaara was no longer abusing his hair, nor was he as tensed as he was a few moments before.

Still, he wasn’t looking at her.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Anka blinked, not knowing what to say. She wasn’t scared of him, yet everyone -even him apparently- expected her to be. Sure, he had surprised her earlier; but she hadn’t feared for her life,  merely for her decency.

“No. I am not.”

He hummed thoughtfully in response.  Breathing deeply, Anka licked her lips. She knew he didn’t believe her ; not entirely anyway.

“It freaked me out find ing someone next to me.  People don’t do that, you know .”

The boy huffed next to her, obviously not buying her explanation.

“You sleep next to me all the time.”

The girl shook her head, smiling.  Of course he would say that. 

“Because I choose to. I fall asleep knowing you’ll be there when I wake up.  I’m safe.”

The look he sent her at her words made her frown. 

“I am. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You like me too much.” She gave him a playful  –but gentle–  shove, before getting back to serious. “Anyway. The point is, don’t come in people’s bedrooms if they don’t invite you to.  _ Especially _ if they are  unaware of your presence . ”

Gaara still didn’t meet her gaze, but she knew she had gotten her message across when he looked away, towards the Academy, in what she liked to imagine was slight embarrassment, or at least deep thinking on what he had just done. 

She didn’t speak any more, wanting to give him time to think on her words. Instead, she looked up to the sky, the familiar patterns of the stars. She had learnt them by heart ever since she was a little girl; in this way, she had sure made her grandmother proud. She briefly wondered if she would ever have to use her knowledge to guide herself. It was not a tactic learnt in Konoha; and  wasn’t used unless the situation was dire. It implied a strong trust among the team, since usually only one of them knew the stars, and thus would have to lead the others. 

Her reflexion was halted when she noticed her friend’s breathing had become irregular. The boy next to her was watching his hands, his breath short and his eyes moist.

“ Gaara , are you okay?” She asked, knowing he most likely wouldn’t answer.

After all, he had never; in all the times she had asked him. 

Yet, in the quiet of the night, with only the soft tingling of the fish charms to disturb her, it seemed like she had never been so close to him; the true him, the one who never answered but whom she could feel was dying to.

The Suna Genin licked his lips, and dared to look towards her form; only to look away  when he met her waiting gaze.

“If love is just a word; why does it hurt so much if you realize it isn’t there?”

The words had been nothing more than a murmur ; but the tear rolling on his pale cheek made them all the louder. Immediately, Anka reached for his hands, moving to face him better. She thought for a moment on his words, respecting how deeply buried they must have been to have brought a tear with them on their way out of his mind.

“Words are never just words. Love especially.” She whispered back, as if the afraid the night would hear. “It’s just hard to find their meanings sometimes.”

She squeezed his hands in a meagre gesture of reassurance. She liked the feeling of his skin on hers. His palms were the softest she had ever felt. They felt as though he had never held a kunai before. Nothing like her rough ones, from the numerous times she had helped her grandparents around as a kid, and the hours of training. It felt nice.

“I can’t really know how you feel; I never had to struggle  with love before.” She admitted. “My  grandparents share a kind of bond you only have once in your life. The kind  that  transcends life and death. My grandfather died many years ago, yet Grandma still visits his grave and talks to him  as though he never left. That’s the kind of  love I grew up with. ”

She felt his hands withdraw a little, and let Gaara get his hands back to himself. His tear had long since fallen, but the humid trail it had left on his cheek still glistened faintly in the pale moonlight.

“One day , Gaara, you will find w hat you are looking for. ”

By now, the air had warmed a little; and Anka knew it meant the sun would rise soon.  At the thought, a yawn escaped her mouth, and she stretched lazily.

“How would you know that?” he spoke with his voice kept as low as hers, his eyes really meeting hers for the first time since she had joined him on the roof.

Anka smiled at him confidently -if tiredly.

“ I just do. ” she  simply  said .

The two young Genin stayed on the rooftop for some more time, just silently appreciating the presence of the other, until tiredness really caught up to Anka, and she couldn’t help repeatedly yawning.

When she said goodbye, he didn’t answer -as she was used to by now. When she looked back at him though, just before jumping from the roof, she was hit by how lonely he looked. It took all of her will not to invite him to come back to her house with her, but she knew it would only confuse him further as to her lesson on night visitors. Instead, she looked back towards her home and jumped away, until she ungracefully slid back in her bedroom from the ajar window. 

The next time she would see him would be just before the next phase, yet she already couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the disclaimer : I found a picture of Sad Gaaa™ with the sentence "If love is just a word, why does it hurt so much if you realize it isn't there?" and found it really cool, but I have no idea if it is a real scene from Naruto or someone's edit. So, yeah, this beautiful sentence isn't from me. Shame.
> 
> Anyway, I just loved the idea of Gaara visiting in the night, looking for company... Give that boy all the hugs ! He deserves them !  
> As always, feel free to comment, and have a wonderful day ! :D


	8. Hidden Away in the Golden Light

Anka eventually came back from Kohaku, more confident and happy than she had ever felt. Funny how a single month –not even that long– could change your thoughts on your own abilities. What her grandmother had shown her, she would have never thought to do on her own; and even though it didn’t change the fact that she did not like to hurt others, Anka now felt much more ready to take on whatever the Chunin Exam could throw at her.

She also couldn’t wait to spend some time with Asano and Yue, to show them what she got, and of course with Gaara. She had dared to talk about him to her grandmother, who had been quite moved to learn that her granddaughter had reconnected in a way to her origins. Her father, of course, had scolded her; but unlike him, his mother actually missed the Village Hidden in the Sand and its people, and so she had encouraged Anka to invite her friend to Kohaku sometime, so that she could meet him. Her father had, of course, strictly forbidden such an encounter from ever taking place, but grandma had winked at Anka mischievously behind his back, indicating that his wishes were irrelevant in this instance. On the eve of their departure from her home, she had even baked a fresh batch of Sunan biscuits only she knew how to bake so perfectly, and had advised Anka to gift some to her friend.

Naturally, the first people she visited upon coming back to the Hidden Leaf was her team, with whom she shared all of her new techniques and news from her family’s village (both her friends had already come many a summer to visit her when they were younger), as well as Shino, with whom she shared much less (she couldn’t risk facing him in the arena) but still had a nice time.

Only then, after she left the Aburame household, did she venture in the centre of the village, to the little apartment in front of Ichiraku’s. She felt oddly nervous, yet excited to see her friend from Suna again. Several times in the past few weeks, as she laid at night, exhausted and ready to enter the Dream King’s domain, she had thought back to their last conversation. He had looked so terribly alone, that night. Anka dearly hoped her weeks of absence didn’t change anything in their friendship.

Thus, when she came in front of the balcony only to see it deserted, she couldn’t hide the disappointment pooling in her stomach.

Could it be that they were all out? It seemed unlikely, yet before she took to hanging out with the youngest of the Sand Siblings, she could often see them together.

Anka went to the door, hesitating. Could she knock and hope someone was home? What if it wasn’t her friend who answered at the door? Kankurô she could probably handle, but the older girl intimidated her greatly; and so did the Jönin. After a moment of hesitation, Anka lowered her fist and turned to walk a way ; only to nearly drop the box of biscuits when she almost collided into  a familiar figure.

“You’re back.”

Gaara’s voice was its usual low, and his gaze as cold as it always was in the presence of others. Only the detailed study of his face allowed her to see the faint trace of satisfaction in his expression. Immediately, her heart quickened its pace, and she felt her cheeks redden to be thus caught on his doorstep.

“I’m back.” She repeated; feeling stupidly pleased to see him.

A short silence fell between the two, as the boy just stared at her almost expectantly. Anka felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment at being at loss for words; and so, she quickly pushed the box of sweets in his hands. 

“This is for you. I know you liked the others, so you’ll probably like these ones as well.”

After a second, Gaara finally extended his hands to take the box from hers. His empty gaze fixed on it, as one watches a foreign object, before he caught up to his manners.

“Thank you.”

Seemingly not knowing what to do with the box, or not having any pocket the right size, the Sand Genin kept it in one of his hands.

Strangely enough, they walked much farther than they used to. They didn’t stop at their usual spot near the bathhouses, barely glancing its way before trailing into the woods, and deep into them. Had Anka never visited these woods, she might have been uneasy, but as things were, she knew them like the back of her hand, and so she just basked in the presence of the friend she had dearly missed and ignored the oddity of it all. 

One thing that didn’t change, though, is how little they exchanged as they walked. Not that it bothered any of them; Gaara was a  boy of few words and Anka had learnt to appreciate his silences almost as much as the sound of his voice. They meant he still wished for her company, even if he didn’t feel like talking.

Eventually, the boy stopped in front of a rock covered in moss. It was roughly the size of a bull, flat enough, and glowed nicely in the few rays of sunlight passing through the leaves. Anka felt her cheeks grow warm, and smiled. It was known among the  nins in training of the village as a place where couples could meet and make out far from the watchful eyes of their teammates or teachers.

Anka looked at Gaara, wondering if he had meant to take her here, or if chance led them to this -admittedly pretty- place. She didn’t voice her guess; afraid he would retract in his shell and refuse to answer. A part of her figured he had probably taken her here on purpose, but wouldn’t admit it if asked. Gaara was a boy and boys don’t like to be caught being thoughtful or doing something nice for a girl. Not without a reason, and Gaara was equally terrible at telling reasons for things.

Chances were he didn’t even know of this rock’s reputation in the first place anyway.

Instead, Anka walked the few paces towards the rock, and caressed the moss with her hand. It was a nice feeling, like petting a very big, mineral dog. 

“It’s soft.” She smiled happily at her friend, before hopping on its surface, the moss and stone pleasantly warm under her thighs.

From sitting up there, she was a good foot and a half taller than him, and it made her smile. She was always a little taller than Gaara, his eyes level with her cheeks. It didn’t seem to bother him, and somehow she knew he would still be able to beat her without a problem should he want to.

The boy extended his hand to touch the stone, treading his fingers in the dry moss; and she thought she saw a corner of his lips twitch upwards. The next second, it was gone, replaced by his usual stoic expression, but Anka knew he was glad she liked the place.

“Join me?” She invited him to sit with her.

His beautiful gaze considered her offer for a moment, before he slowly unbuckled the strap of his gourd. As he did so, his eyes stayed focused on hers with their usual odd intensity, and had Anka not been a rather composed person, she might have blushed at the thoughts the gesture evoked deep in her thoughts. Gaara carefully angled the gourd against the rock, as to not let it fall, before hoisting himself up beside her. 

As he did so, Anka couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed underneath his skin as he lifted his own weight easily. The thought was bittersweet in that he sure had a nice body, but his being almost painfully obviously underweight worried her. She wondered how come a young man like him could lack nourishment. Was it self-inflicted? Knowin g him as much as she did, it could be .

“I missed you.”

Her gentle tone almost startled him ; unless it was her words. His pale cheeks coloured endearingly pink. Anka knew he wasn’t used to being complimented or cared for, and she was determined to tell him her honest thoughts on this subject. 

For a long moment, Gaara kept his  lips slightly opened and his eyes looking away, as if not knowing how to answer.

Eventually, a few indistinguishably grumbled words escaped his lips.

It was the feeling that mattered, Anka realised, when she felt the same warmth inside than if he had told her he had missed her too, loud and clear for the world to hear. That he had even tried to tell her was proof enough of his friendship. 

“Did you have a nice time still? I would hate it for you to be too bored in my village.”

Gaara crossed his arms and leaned back to lie on the sunlit stone, avoiding her gaze. The girl followed him, leaving only her legs dangling from the ledge.

Her eyes found his for a quick second before he adverted them. His red hair was softly mixing with the green moss; Anka decided she liked the view. It was pretty far from the environment he was used to, no doubt. Still, the golden light of the sun through the leaves adorned his face in such a beautiful way; she couldn’t help but try to imagine him in his home. Would the harsh sun  of  Suna suit him quite that well? Anka doubted it. 

Instead of an answer, the young healer felt his fingers brush against her hand. Anka’s breath hitched, and she sent a side-glance to her friend, confused. His expression was still unreadable, as he gazed at the leaves of the trees above them. Occasionally, he would squint his eyes when the gentle breeze moved the branches and a stray, unfiltered ray of sun reached his eyes. 

Thinking it was probably nothing, the girl closed her eyes, until she felt it again.

Inching her hand slightly closer, she realized his hand was shaking. With hesitation, she slowly slid her hand in his, and squeezed it slightly. Gaara didn’t react for a long time, only breathing deeply. She took it as a good sign. He wasn’t pro testing the contact of her palm against his soft hand , of her fingers weaved between his.

The thought made her cheeks feel warm, but she couldn’t repress a timid smile at the gesture. It surprised her; she had never been one to hold a boy’s hand without any words exchanged. It felt intimate. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she liked this feeling. It was always so peaceful being in his company. Like time had stopped.

When she dared to look at him, she liked to think that even if he still wasn’t looking at her, the corner of his lips was, ever so slightly, raised upwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff. Take the fluff. Just take it.  
> Next chapter will haul us back into canon events, with the preliminaries...  
> As always, your comments warm my little writer heart.  
> See you next time !


	9. Friendly Foes

The next morning, Anka found herself breathing in front of her mirror, struggling to keep her nervousness in check. Strangely enough, she felt rather okay; compared to the last trial they had to go through. 

On one hand, s he knew herse lf not to be a powerful fighter; but on the other, she had trained for a month. She had developed new techniques. Most of the other contestants had known her for her whole life; they wouldn’t expect her to fight back. She would have a surprise in store for them, and if she would fail this ordeal, it would be with honor. 

_ Don’t you want to prove them what you can do? _ Her father had asked as he readied her breakfast for her.  _ You didn’t go so far to give up now. _

It had quieted the anxiety within her, fueling her courage. The important thing was not to succeed. It was to have tried.

As she strapped the leather be lt, making all the little glass flasks  tingle at her sides, she took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror. She would never feel ready. She might as well do this now. She would come back home afterwards, maybe hurt, maybe exhausted; but not with the shame of having backed down when it was time to prove  herself to any who doubted her worth.

She smiled a little as she brushed one of the little bottles with her fingers. She wouldn’t hurt them; but they would feel her, that was for sure.

When her grandmother had showed her, it had surprised Anka she had never thought about imprisoning pain in recipients, to be freed later ; instead of simply burning it away. It required a little skill, but at the end of the day, it didn’t take so much chakra as it cost to make the pain disappear entirely. Upon being released from its glass prison, the pain would feast upon the first unsuspecting body it would find. 

What a show it would be.

After she readied herself, she was welcomed in the living room by her team, who had come to gather her before making their way to the Academy. Both looked sharp and ready to take on anything life could throw at them.

On the way to the Academy, they discussed quietly the last of their strategies, and Anka realized that they were actually  _ eager _ to face th e danger, the thrill of maybe even risking their lives  in this fight . She couldn’t say if it was giving her more courage or more fear.

Once in the room, they noticed most of the contestants had already arrived. In one corner, apart from the others, were the Sand Siblings. Anka mechanically waved at her friend from Suna, earning a sour look from Yue and a shrug and a shaking head from Asano. They never quite took to seeing her friendship with the Suna genin in a positive light. Anka was almost glad they never asked what they did when they were alone. She knew they wouldn’t particularly approve of their tentative affection.

As they still had some time before the starting of the exam, Anka let her friends go chat with team 8. She would have joined them, if only to wish luck to Shino, but she would have time for that later when they would be waiting for their turn to fight. Instead, she slipped away from them to walk towards the team from  Suna .

Politely smiling at Temari and  Kankurô , who nodded in return with their usual perplexed gaze, she joined Gaara. The boy with the gourd was leaning against a wall, impatiently waiting for the exam to begin.

“Ready?”

The boy only gazed at her and nodded towards her figure. Anka shrugged lightly. She may not be convinced of her abilities, she couldn’t deny she was feeling kind of exhilarated being there, if only for one thing.

“I can’t wait to see your fighting style. I’m sure it’s great.”

This made him smile discreetly, and Anka felt flutters in her chest. It was the same kind of smile he had given her the day before, on the Moss Rock. The nervousness she had felt in the morning seemed pretty dull now.

Anka noticed him glance at the collection of glass flasks on her hips. Some others were hidden beneath her clothes for emergency cases, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to come to that. Pain was a double-edged sword; and would turn against her just as well as it could against anyone else.

“That’s new.” He simply said.

Anka chuckled. For some reason, she couldn’t find what to do with her hands, and so she dislodged one from her belt, and played with it. The pain inside was that of her hip injury from the previous trial the month before. She didn’t wish it on anyone; but it would be useful if only to hinder her opponent’s movements.

“Well, looks like you still have some things to learn about me as well.” 

The boy exhaled quickly and looked away. If she hadn’t known how to read him, she would have missed his amusement. He opened his mouth slightly, apparently about to say something, when her team called her back to them.

Looking towards them, she noticed the official instructor in charge of the trial had arrived. Yue was waving her hand at her, looking excited and quite ready to pounce on any adversary.

“Well, looks like I have to go. Good luck, Gaara!”

She took a few steps back before turning away and running towards Asano and Yue, clasping Shino’s arm in a gesture of encouragement ans wishing luck to all of her friends on the way before she reached her team mates.

Soon, it would be time to stand alone in the middle of this arena, and either taste sweet victory or bite bitter dust.

As it turns out, Yue was the first called to fight, against a boy from the Rain village. The poor genin didn’t know what was coming for him, and within a quarter of an hour, he fell exhausted and bloody on the ground, unable to even lift his arm to declare his bailing out on the fight.

The victorious girl grinned from ear to ear as she was selected for the next trial. Anka did a quick work to praise her to the moon and back, as Asano was busy analyzing the probabilities of victory against the other contestants.

The next few matches went by quickly enough, and Anka started to feel a bit nervous when she saw most of the weaker genins being already called. Let’s face it, she had more chances against Ino or Sakura than she had against Neji or Shikamaru.

But before she could get too deep into that spiral of anxiety, two names were called.

_ Gaara _ _. Rock Lee. _

All thoughts on her future match disappeared in an instant. This would be interesting. She would finally see how Gaara fended for himself. What kind of jutsu he used.

Knowing so little about him besides his outward scary aura, Anka didn’t know who she should bet on. Gaara looked utterly confident in his abilities, if a little unstable, but he  _ was _ quite short and obviously too thin for his own good. Not that he appeared frail or something; he obviously had a lot of strength, if only to carry this heavy-looking gourd on his back.

But Lee was something else. He might have never won against Neji, his eternal rival, but he was fast, and oh was he strong. In the many years she had known him, Anka had never seen him use ninjutsu or genjutsu, but he had never needed either to win a fight. He was, by all means, powerful, and she admired him greatly. Several times in their Academy years, he had offered to help her train ; relating quite well to her having an inoffensive jutsu. He had freely offered, even though he had always faced rejection from his peers. Anka didn’t talk to him as often as she ought to, but she had the utmost faith in him.

Before she could make an opinion,  Gaara faded from the bleachers and appeared on the middle of the room. Anka almost didn’t recognize the look in his eyes. It was close to the one she had seen on two occasions only; the day she had told him about love, and the night she had chased him from her home. Crazed, only thinly veiled. She hadn’t dared address it, nor think about it too much.

Lee didn’t seem too scared; or maybe he was too good at hiding it. He walked with confidence and cheer. When he passed in front of her, he waved at her with a grin, and she responded in kind, only with a more timid smile. Immediately, her gaze was drawn to Gaara, who was now looking at his opponent with a particularly nasty glare.

She hoped none of them would be too severely injured. Though she had spent so much more time with Gaara recently, she did consider the Taijutsu specialist a good friend.

When the instructor declared the beginning of the fight, Lee didn’t waste any time attacking his opponent. And with rapt attention, Anka sa w the sand move as if on its own to block him.

Sand manipulation. As a reflex, her hand shot to her pocket, where the desert rose he had gifted her still sat. Her hand closed around it, and she briefly wondered if he had made it with this sand.

It was quite beautiful an art, she realized as she saw the sand take different shapes to defend Gaara and occasionally attack Lee. The poor Konoha genin was obviously doing his best to crack the sand’s defense, while Gaara stood idly with his arms crossed, but it was useless. Not far from her, she noticed from the corner of her eye Kankurô had moved to stand beside Naruto, not so far from her. She quickly put this information at the back of her mind, as she didn’t want to miss any of the fight.

When Lee dropped his weights, she was even more impressed by the boy. To say he managed to be so quick and strong with such hindrances to his movement, she could only admire him. In this moment, she saw every of the other genins too astonished to comment, and she felt a flash of pride. They would understand, now, what she saw in him.

Still, she flinched several times when he managed to land hits on Gaara. Her grasp on the railing tightened, as she wished she didn’t have to see both old and new friends hurting each other. When Lee got to the Lotus Flower Recto, she closed her eyes, unwilling to see Gaara being crushed. 

When came silence again after the huge impact, she dared open one eye, and then the other, horror seizing her. Gaara looked… fractured. He was lying there unmoving, and this was one of the scariest sights she had ever beheld. So was watching the sand armor crumble, and revealing an empty space. 

Yet, the worst was to come. Every blow landed on either of the two boys, she would wonder whether this could get any worse. Maybe she should just get out of the room, or sit in a corner for a while. She wasn’t sure she could stomach this any longer. Except she had to, of course, or she couldn’t live with herself if something grave happened to any of them.

This was exactly what she didn’t like about being a ninja. The violence was overwhelming. It settled in her guts and made her want to throw up.

By the time Lee opened his chakra gates, Anka was close to giving up on watching the fight. There would be no happy ending, she realized. Either way, whether Gaara or Lee managed to vanquish the other; she would have to see a friend grievously injured. 

When she saw Lee struggle to even stand up, after his last attack, and Gaara, lying on the ground, raw murder in his eyes, she knew it had gotten too far. The sand reached for the Konoha genin, enveloped his left arm and leg, and the boy’s cry was heartbreaking. What was, too, in a different way, was the mad smile on the redhead’s face, and his bloodshot eyes as he commanded more of his sand towards Lee, his intent clearly being to kill, to annihilate. 

For the first time, Anka understood the fear. The wariness, distrustful looks her friend send his way. She saw the part of Gaara the others had warned her about, that they had seen so quickly, while she was still assuming the best and thinking him quiet and gentle.

How wrong she had been. It felt as though her heart was beating in her tightened throat, the mad look in his eyes making her want to throw up. It wasn't her Gaara. He wore the same pale skin, the same fiery hair; but his eyes were those of a monster.

Fortunately, Gai interrupted the match, declaring forfeit on Lee’s behalf. The poor boy had lost consciousness, but was still standing despite his torn muscles and broken bones.

As soon as the instructor announced  Gaara the victor of the fight, Anka jumped over the railing and ran to Lee’s side. On the way down, she couldn't help but check for the sand wielder; the ruthless genin appeared fine enough, almost _disappointed_ , as he got up. Lee had been laid on the ground, unconscious and bloodied. Her hands flew first to his heart, which was still beating, but barely, and then to his injured hand and leg, wasting no time in evaluating his state. As if in a trance, her hand glowed in chakra, and she went on ripping pain away and healing what could be healed.

When the medics caught up to her, she had her eyes closed in concentration, and was doing her best to stabilize him. 

“Lee needs to be taken to the hospital immediately. His bones are broken in multiple places; I can sense a lot of internal bleeding. His heart may not endure it if we do not do something quickly.” She informed them when she noticed their presence, not taking her concentration away from him a single instant.

The medics nodded, acknowledging her skills rather than losing time checking for themselves. Anka had to part from the boy so that they could put him on a stretcher, and as they quickly carried him out of the room, she went to follow them. That is, until she felt someone catching her arm, stopping her from leaving the room.

When she turned, she noticed Gai’s hand.

“If you get out of this room, you will be considered forfeit.” He softly said, sorrow obvious in his voice.

He was  speaking as a sensei; but behind his words she could hear the man afraid to lose his beloved student. Making her decision here and there, she shook his hand off from her.

“Lee needs me more right now than I need to become a Chûnin. There will be other  exams. H e only has one life.”

Her panicked eyes caught Gaara’s pale, inexpressive ones for an instant before she turned and ran after the medics. In the background, she heard the instructor announce her forfeit and Kankurô’s victory.

Never , in her life , had she been so afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that's for the preliminaries...   
> I don't even know what to say. Tough day for everyone involved. 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter even though it is kind of far from the fluff I had you all gotten used to! Don't hesitate to give me your thoughts on it. 
> 
> (Also fun fact: Lee was my third favorite when I was a kid, after Deidara (my first Naruto crush for some reason haha) and our boy Gaara. Do I only like characters who fight each other? Possibly.)


	10. Before the Storm

In the evening, Anka left the hospital when the medics assured her Lee was in good hands for the rest of the night. Though it had been offered that she could use a spare bed to rest there, Anka had gratefully declined. There were hardly words to describe how drained she felt, like she did not have a single drop of chakra left inside of her. She briefly wondered if that was how the regular citizen felt on a daily basis; but surely, such a dreadful feeling could not be so widespread. Everyone had chakras, even if they were not aware of it.

On her way home, her shoulders were sagging and her eyes tired by the bright artificial lights of the room she had worked in all day. They felt too dry, though her exhaustion, as much physical as it was emotional, made her want to cry. Trying to rest her eyes on more peaceful colours than the harsh white of the houses, Anka looked away towards the park not far from her district; immediately regretting so, as her poor eyes caught sight of the last person she currently wanted to see.

Gaara was standing in a corner of the place, his siblings on either side of him, like she hadn’t seen them be in public since the first weeks of the exam. His features betrayed no emotions, as he was simply looking at the rare people who had not deserted the place to go home to their family. 

Just as she was about to walk away, she felt his gaze on her. For all that he was so far away, she could almost see the detail of the black circles around his frightfully beautiful eyes.

She should leave.

Yet, as she took a first step in the direction of her home, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before going back to the hospital, her hand in her pocket brushed the gift he had given her, so many days ago. It had almost left her mind, what with all the commotion during the preliminaries.

_ A token of my respect _ , he had said.

Her exhausted, confused self wasn’t sure what to do with that anymore.

She turned back to the training grounds, a frail determination in her steps. With every step taking her closer to him, she wondered what she was trying to prove.

That she was not scared? No, it was not that. 

Before she could find out, she was standing in front of  Gaara ; his siblings cautiously watching her, wondering what madness had driven her to come to address their younger brother when it was  obvious she was so upset with him.

“This is  yours, I believe.” She kept her words curt, too tired to care.

Her hand fished the desert rose from her pocket, and held it out to him.

She could feel his siblings tensing, sending her alarmed looks. No one in  their right mind would willingly co me to confront the Sand Monster in such a way.

When her eyes dared meet his, her hand trembled.

He looked tired. Anka knew he never slept, for whatever fucked up reason he had kept to himself. But this day, he looked exhausted and angry. Or maybe the change was in her eyes, and it was just now she was acknowledging his true appearance.

“I gave it to you.” His voice was low and detached as usual, but though Anka was in no state to actively try to understand him, she thought she heard a trace of vexation, if not hurt, in his voice.

She squinted her eyes, unhappy and admittedly, a bit afraid of this conversation.

“I am not sure I want it anymore.”

It was his turn to squint his circled eyes, looking straight into her soul. 

Seeing he wouldn’t take the desert rose anytime soon, Anka caught his wrist with her left hand; and with her right, forced the  small object into his soft palm.

Having done  what she had come to do, she turned her back to him.

“Do I scare you?” his emotionless voice called before she could take a first step.

With a deep breath, and unshed tears, she turned one last time to look at him.

“ I had never felt a bone broken in to so many splinters .  Of course I am  afraid. ”

She closed her eyes and walked away. Before she could get far, though, a dry grip caught her wrist tightly, one she wouldn’t have recognized just a few weeks before.  _ Sand _ .

“Do you hate me?”

Ignoring the surge of fear in her heart at the feeling of her wrist encased in  the same sand that caused death wherever it trailed , she shook her head and kept walking,  pulling her arm free.

As much as Lee’s pained expression haunted her eyelids whenever she blinked, she couldn’t face the truth; that she would probably never be able to hate the lonely boy from Suna. It was too late for that.

_ From his spot on the rooftop, Gaara could observe her form lying on the white sheets. He had excused himself from his siblings when she had walked away, leaving him with a rejected gift and a churning sand. He had followed her to her house, noticing the way her shoulders were slumped, as if it had taken all of her energy to confront him. Barely a foot in _ _ to _ _ her room, she had  _ _ crashed on her bed, unconscious. _

_ She must have spent her whole Chakra healing the boy he fought. There was much to repair, he mused. _

_ A part of him, the violent, self-satisfied part of his heart, couldn’t help but feel angry with her. Undoing his work. Who did she think she was? A pathetic Genin who could hardly fight, that’s who.  _

_ Yet, he didn’t feel the murderous rage he expected. He had noticed, of course, how… tame, the beast inside was in her presence. When she had taken his hand the first time they met, it had almost purred.  _ _ Gaara _ _ was acutely aware of her presence; and of her absence as well. Whenever he caught sight of her, the roaring inside him quieted, nagging him to get closer to her. Closer. And closer still. _

_ The pain _ _ faded, just the slightest bit. _

_ The thing with relief is, once one gets used to it, one feels the pain much more intensely afterwards. And as things were, Gaara had tasted the relief of her presence for far too long. Of course, he had felt the pain inside for far longer, and was used to it; but her presence was addicting, and he was in too deep to stop. _

_ As he opened her window and silently crept into her room, Gaara knew it. _

_ He would keep close, if only to understand why he felt this way. _

_ As he neared her unconscious form, the boy felt the beast inside pull at him. _

_ His fingers toyed with the desert rose he had made for her weeks before. The same one she had so harshly given back to him. _

_ ‘I _ _ am not sure I  _ _ want it anymore.’ _

_ He placed it on the nightstand, next to her headband. _

_ In agitated sleep, she whispered a name. _

_ It wasn’t his. _

For the next month until the final part of the exam, Anka settled into a familiar routine. Every day, she would leave for the hospital early in the day, and proceed to visit Lee at the hospital. There, she would heal him until she had almost no chakra left, being extra careful to do the work with the precision of a professional jeweler as she weaved the muscles back together and welded the tiny pieces of broken bones. It was exhausting, but she would give it her best if only to prove the doctors wrong. 

When he had first arrived at the hospital, the medics had told him he would never be a ninja again. Anka had assured him they were wrong, and doubled her efforts in that direction.

Then, when she would be too tired to stop him, she would oversee his training –that he insisted he would keep doing every day until he was fixed, and then after– while dozing off on a chair. Her efforts were paying, seeing as everyday Lee would train with less difficulty, and the medics were forced to consider their initial statement might have been pronounced too early. Then, after a nurse had delivered his meal to his room, Anka would say goodbye for the day and join Asano and Yue, sometimes accompanied by Shino or Kiba, for lunch. 

They would then walk her back to her house, where she would sleep a good part of the afternoon. Her team was reticent to let her wander on her own, after the whole “Gaara ordeal” as they called it. It had become even worse when they had noticed, after a few days, that he seemed to follow her sometime, for what reason they did not know (speculation was common among them; trust Kiba and Yue to make the most ridiculous suggestions); Anka, for her part, knew it had to be because he wanted to talk to her.

She hadn’t spoken to  Gaara since that day she had tried to give him back his gift. It had appeared again on her nightstand the next time she had woken up. She knew then he had visited her room during her sleep; and the knowledge that this boy, her friend full of hatred, had been so close to her made her want to weep in regret and scream in frustration at the same time.

Anka just didn’t know what to think of him anymore. She had seen  first-hand how nice  Gaara could be, when he was comfortable in the quiet of the forest, his hand in hers and hers in his. She had heard his soft words of worry when she had been injured, seen his contentment at having her back in Konoha after a month of being away. Her fingers remembered the roughness of his scar and the softness of his hands. He had allowed her to get so close; how could he ever be a monster?

Yet, there had been this look in his eyes; when Lee laid injured and barely conscious in front of him. He would have killed him; she knew he would have, and without any form of remorse. There had been disappointment, anger in his aura when Gai had interfered to protect his student. 

A treacherous part of her heart still held his memory  dearly , but Anka just didn’t think she could be close to someone who would kill without a second thought. When she would spend time with Asano and Yue, sometimes, she would see him at the other side of the training grounds; or they would walk to Ichiraku’s and her gaze would stray to the balcony of his apartment; there was an aura of ‘I told you so’ she would feel from the looks of her friends. Thankfully, they never said it out loud. In fact, they tended to avoid the subject altogether, if they even thought about it.

She envied them. She thought about it all the time.

It was only a matter of weeks until he would travel back to Suna anyway. The chances of them meeting again after the exam were slim enough that she indulged in the thought their acquaintance would soon be a memory. 

It happened during the night; on the eve of the final trial. Anka had been roaming the land of dreams long enough to be lost in Ame, mist surrounding her with its chill. She knew she had been there before, in a mission with her friends, but she couldn’t seem to find the way to the little cottage they had slept in. 

A gust of wind startled her, threatening to make her fall from the bridge she was trying to cross, until a hand on her shoulder held her back.

“Anka.”

The young medic groaned, feeling herself slip away from the mist. It kept close to her as she found herself opening her eyes in her bedroom, the feeling on her shoulder strangely becoming more real with every passing second.

Turning on her side from her comfortable position on her belly, Anka felt the hand leave her. Immediately lacking its warmth, she sighed, scooting closer to where it had disappeared. 

“Anka.”

At the call of the voice, she rubbed her eyes of the mist, and was surprised to find a silhouette hovering over the other side of her bed, its hand still somewhat outstretched towards her, as if waiting to shake her again.

The name escaped her dry lips before she fully comprehended the situation.

“Gaara?”

The silhouette moved closer, its pale eyes gazing in hers for a long time. Even in her state of half-unconsciousness, a part of Anka knew she should be afraid , or angry ; but it was late and the moon was high, and for once, her worries didn’t hold much worth to her eyes. He was wearing his peaceful eyes, the ones she found soothing to look into. His voice was low, and his hands warm.

“Show me love again.” She heard him asking as if through glass. “Please.”

Mumbling a nonsensical answer, Anka reluctantly lifted a corner of her covers, letting the cold in before her nightly guest slid under them. She opened her arms, and he gingerly came to bury his face into her shoulder. His arms circled her, and soon, the cold became a distant memory. She opened her heart, and felt his beating against her chest. 

She tightened her hold of him, making herself comfortable to drift back to sleep, when she felt a heavy layer gently pressing from above them. When she opened her eyes, she saw the sand creeping over the both of them; but she didn’t feel  no fear or pain.

_ Safe _ , she thought, as she closed her eyes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to rewrite/rephrase a lot of this one chapter ! The first half were the very first extracts I wrote on this fic.  
> The thing is whenever I write something it ends up way longer than I expected, so I was trying to start with established friendship and go straight to some angst.  
> But I am incapable of not starting at the beginning (and of not making fluff apparently), so. Turned out my "chapter 1" became a "chapter 10".  
> Oh, well.
> 
> Also, reminder that though the end of FTDTC is approaching, it just means the first half of the story is almost over ! I am thinking on posting FTDTC's last chapter at the same time as Part 2's first, so that you guys don't have to wait ;D
> 
> Anyway, this note is too long already.  
> As always, kudos are nice and comments never fail to make my day !


	11. Fire And Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind the random spaces cutting words in half. If I could do something to remove them, believe me I would.

When Anka had woken up in the morning, it was with a fresh mind and the distant memory of arms encircling her and soft hair tickling her neck. Still, she had found her bed empty, save for the desert rose she was clutching in her hand. Unconvinced she hadn’t just woken up in another vivid dream, she had looked for any trace of another presence but her own; but not a single grain of sand remained on her covers, and the window was still as shut as when she had gone to sleep. Anka found herself kind of wanting to put this behind her as nothing but a dream; but she knew the rose couldn’t have ended up in her hand from her desk on its own. 

Her mother calling her from the kitchen had shaken her out of her thoughts, and she had put the desert rose into her pocket absentmindedly, forgetting for a while that she had meekly decided not to take it with her anymore. 

No matter how confused she was about its maker, the sand crystal had never failed to bring her some comfort when she was in doubt, and in these times of trouble, she didn’t know how much she liked the fact that this gift still felt as precious as it did the day it was first given to her. 

Unwilling to think about it much, Anka had gladly answered her mother’s call and climbed down her stairs to meet with her team, with whom she had walked to the arena, to wish immense luck to Yue for her last fight of the exam. She had also wished luck to Shikamaru and Shino, whom they had met in front of the arena. 

Anka had then slipped away to the Western ramparts of Konoha. Not only was she reticent to see her friends hurting each other –not even to talk about the Gaara situation–, but there had also been other news. 

The Kazekage had come to watch the final part of the exams; to see his champions fight Konoha’s finest recruits. It was a matter of pride, and of the honour of the Rukushika family, for her father that she does not breath the same air as the chief of the country that forced them into exile. 

And so, Atsuhiko Rukushika had pressed his team leader to accept Anka within their team on watch. Her father’s team was like his second family. There was his wife and child, and there was his team. Anka had long since understood this feeling, what with her strong friendship with her own team. It was both beautiful and sad, she mused; for as much as one was always surrounded with people one loved, one was also always missing others. 

They had welcomed her with open arms, despite how unprofessional it was. She knew what they were thinking; a watch turret on the border of the Hidden Village was hardly a place to be for a young girl. Still, the change in scenery had pleased her enough. From where they were, she could barely see the arena. 

It felt good to breathe in the open air, far from her teenage worries. 

It felt good; until a loud crack resonated in the air, and she was suddenly face to face with an open mouth and white fangs the size of her leg; and behind them eyes black with darkness. 

She jumped without feeling herself do it; putting herself on the roof of the turret her father’s team guarded. The next second, the mouth closed around the wall, breaking it as if it were made of straw. She watched the stones crumble and fall to the ground, powerless. 

“Stone serpent!” she heard someone shout behind the sound of blood beating in her ears. 

Her legs shook under the heavy realization that, had she not had quick reflexes gained from years of ninja training, she would have died here and there. Her friends never would have seen her again. She would have just disappeared, with nothing left to bury. Never before had Anka faced her own mortality. She had always been cheating pain, cheating wounds. Even in the Forest of Death, if the perspective of failing the exam had crossed her mind more than once, she had not seriously felt she could die. 

“Anka!” her father’s cry pulled her out of her shock, and when she turned her head towards him, there was fear behind the brave façade he was putting up. “Go inform the Hokage of the situation, immediately!” 

The authority in his tone made her react on instinct, as she saw herself nod before she could think to protest. She heard the desperation in his tone; sending his child away, hopefully to safety, but her legs didn’t seem to want to move. Still, when one of the snakes charged the turret, the ground falling apart beneath her legs forced her to jump further away, and the panic in her heart fuelled her escape as she speeded away towards the arena; a solid lump in her throat. She briefly wondered if this look of courage, in the face of destruction itself, would be the last she would see of her father’s face. 

She bit her lip, and forced herself not to look back. 

A few mere seconds after her jumping away from the roof, and speeding away towards the arena, a kunai whistled a few centimetres from her ear, and when she turned her head on pure instinct, Anka noticed the black-clad ninjas with the headband from Oto. They were flowing into the village, passing through the gaping holes the snakes had dug in the wall. Some of them seemed to have noticed her, and were hot on her trail. 

This was no longer an exam, Anka understood then. It was no accident; no random attack of lone serpents. It was a calculated strike, orchestrated with care; with the intent to annihilate. 

It was survival. 

Her hands fumbled with the flasks on her belt, the stress making her usually nimble fingers feel too big and clumsy. 

Anka heard the whistling of shurikens sent her way, angry voices calling for her. Blood was beating in her ears, and she could not discern the words of their hateful pleas. Quickly looking towards the arena as she continued to dodge their weapons, the healer realized there was no way she could cover all this distance with them on her tail, especially so exposed. 

Throwing some of her flasks on the ground behind her to buy some time –either they would have to step aside, or the pain would incapacitate them at least momentarily–, Anka quickly calculated her chances, before noticing that all of her zigzags had not gotten her too far from the forest which surrounded the village. 

She could lose them in the forest. That could work. 

Bolting suddenly towards the trees, Anka prepared more traps for her assailants, smiling in brief victory when she saw one of her projectiles land square on a man's face, who fell twitching to the ground. They were now only two; manageable, she guessed. 

The tall trees and wide branches would be ideal to run around, hide, and change locations often enough to disorientate them. With any chance, she could slip away without their notice and complete successfully her mission. 

Unfortunately for her, the two seemed determined not to let her out of their sight. They were agile enough to evade her traps, and were actually getting dangerously close. After a dozen minutes playing cats and mouse, Anka was starting to get tired and desperate to get them off her tail. 

This is how, as she jumped from branch to branch, occasionally looking behind her to see how far they were and her back aching from the few shuriken she hadn’t been able to dodge in time, Anka failed to see the coming body she crashed into with a yelp of surprise. 

Panicked, she was quick to get back on her feet; only to notice the familiar face in front of her. 

“Temari?” 

For a second, her brain froze. What was the Suna girl doing so far from the fighting arena? Had Oto already managed to get to the Hokage? If so, why was the older girl here in the forest, so far from the village? 

“You?!” 

Temari seemed equally surprised to find her here, but before she could comment on it, the two darkly clad men Anka had tried to shake off landed on the next branch. 

“You done running around, little rabbit?” one of them laughed through his panting, arming two kunai her way. “Time to get eaten.” 

Anka’s heart rate sped up considerably, arming herself as well. The situation was just too confusing to decide if she was significantly reassured to be in the presence of Gaara's sister. 

When the men lunged at her, she barely had time to see the Suna girl get into a defensive stance, before sand flew past her at a frightening speed and engulfed the two Oto shinobis. The next second, blood splattered everything; the trees, the ground, and themselves.

Anka couldn’t care for the blood staining her clothes, for when she turned, she saw Kankurô land awkwardly on the branch, half-carrying a bloodied, barely conscious Gaara. Her friend’s arm was still outstretched towards her assailants, his gaze feverish and his sand slowly returning to his gourd. Feeling dizzy, the young girl dropped her kunai in shock and rushed to his side. 

“Gaara!” she called out his name but his eyes remained half-closed, unseeing; with no outward sign that he had heard her. “What happened?” 

Preoccupied by his wound and lack of answer, Anka didn’t notice the nervous gazes Temari and Kankurô exchanged, as she made a quick work to heal the redhead’s shoulder injury. His skin was almost burnt around deep cuts, and she briefly wondered what could have inflicted such a wound; especially knowing the redhead was well guarded at all times. 

“We have to move.” Temari pressed Kankurô, turning her back on her brothers and Anka to anxiously survey the perimeter. 

The young man with the facepaint seemed to hesitate, looking alternatively between his sister, his brother and the healer with looks of mild panic. 

“What of the plan?!” 

Distant creaking of wood and sound of steps rapidly approaching interrupted them, and Temari grabbed Kankurô’s arm forcefully to make him move forward. 

“There’s no time!” She shouted. 

Kankurô nodded, and with one last look at the healer, he jumped, carrying Gaara away. Temari followed suit, leaving a baffled Anka behind her. 

_What plan?_

Before she could think to move to get back to her initial mission, and put aside her confused worry for the Sand Siblings, another figure landed next to her, sweaty and tired. 

“Sasuke, what the hell is going on?” 

The dark-haired boy checked her disheveled appearance, not hiding very well his surprise at finding her in the middle of the forest. To his credit, he didn’t beat around the bush when it came to giving her answers. 

“Suna betrayed us. Have you seen them?” 

Mechanically, Anka nodded, and looked in the direction she had seen Temari disappear into. She could hardly believe his words, but she had been acquainted with Sasuke for long enough to know he wasn’t one to joke around. 

If what he said was true, then the situation was much more complicated than she had anticipated. If what he said was true, then the Sand Siblings’ odd behavior made much more sense; as much as her heart protested at the thought. 

The realization made her feel numb, and she mindlessly pointed towards the way the siblings had left. 

“Oto attacked the western ramparts as well. Be careful.” 

Sasuke nodded, and the next second, he was gone as well, leaving her scared and empty. Her eyes felt humid, but in the distance, she could still hear the faint rumbling of crushed homes, and so she wiped her eyes, and hardened her resolve. 

Now was not the time to lay down and cry. 

They were at war. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a great time to be a citizen of Konoha. Tough day for everyone involved.  
> The epilogue will be posted next Saturday, to give me some more time to work on Part 2.  
> As I said last time, I'll update the epilogue same time as Part 2's first chapter, so you'll have a double update to make up for the delay. Hopefully it will be worth the wait!
> 
> Also thank you all so much for the 100 kudos and 1k+ reads ! Never expected that... I hope you will like the second part just as much as this one.  
> As always, comments are more than welcome !  
> Have a nice day, and see you next week !


	12. Epilogue

Anka felt the nervousness coil in her stomach as she was led the  Hokage’s office. It had only been a day or so since the invasion, and the whole village was still on edge. Many deaths, there had been; luckily, not too many on their side. The foreign ninjas who had attacked them had been buried beyond the outer walls of the village, while the heroes of Konoha were still being honored in front of the town hall. She had seen them when they had taken her here.

The masked shinobi had looked for her in her house, scaring her mother when they had urged her to tell the location of her husband and daughter. They had ripped her from her injured father at the hospital, detaching more of their kind to interrogate him as they took her away. She had been firmly led towards the office of the late Hokage; and so, she found herself kneeling on the wooden floor in front of the imposing desk. 

“Anka Rukushika.” one of them introduced her in a deep voice. “Daughter of Atsuhiko Rukushika,  pureblooded Suna. Was reported to be a close companion of Gaara of the Desert for the past few months.”

It was only then, as she was presented as a half-blood in front of the appointed lady in charge of the village that she understood. They were looking for scapegoats.  For her heritage.

“Don’t you dare drag him into this!” she hissed at them, half in fear and half in anger. “My father is the most dedicated nin Konoha has ever known!”

The masked shinobi did not answer, and she looked up at Lady Tsunade.  A legendary shinobi; a healer and a leader. She had taken her duties without complaint, and had ensured the security of thousands of Konoha citizens in under a day. Anka could admire that; but she wouldn’t let them treat her family like they were  an any less worthy part of this village.

“You admit to the other accusations made against you?” The woman spoke, with a firm but not menacing voice, before gesturing for Anka to rise to her feet.

It took a second for Anka to remember what these were.

“I do. I have been Gaara’s friend, but I promise on my honor, I knew nothing of the invasion.”

Anka breathed deeply, trying to control the stress the situation was making rise in her chest, constricting her lungs. She saw the woman squint her eyes, but there was no reason not to believe her. Anka wore her heart on her sleeve, and was terrible at deceiving anyone, especially in such dire circumstances.

When Tsunade silently invited her to sit down on the chair in front of hers, and offered her tea in a soft voice, she understood the soon-to-be Hokage believed her. She relaxed slightly, accepting the offer of tea.

It took several minutes before the woman in front of her asked more of her; she was waiting for her to calm down, Anka realized.

“I want you to tell me everything that has happened between you and this boy.” Her voice was soft but  firm, the way a mother would gently scold her child.

She hardly knew where to begin. Anka had not dared think about her friend from Suna since the attack. She had heard it had all been a conspiracy between Suna and Oto; that the Sand Siblings were the key pieces of this ploy that resulted in the death of their good Hokage. It had broken her heart a little to know that Gaara, whom she had spent so many hours resting with, talking with about all and nothing, had known all along this would happen. That he had agreed to it ; leaving her only a passing distraction along the way. 

“I was the one to go to him. We bonded over my origins, on the night of the first trial.”

After all this ; his saying any return to Konoha would be unlikely took a much different sense than she had thought on that day. 

“He was silent and lonely, but he would often walk with me. It was nice, even if I was often the only one to make conversation. He would tell me about Suna, and I would tell him about Konoha. Nothing dangerous; childhood memories , mostly.”

The shinobi at the hospital had spoken of a great  monster made of sand. Naruto had just had this  _ look _ , when she had come to ask him how he fared, on her way to her father’s bedside. He had faced the  _ monster _ ; she had heard some of their comrade say. A monster with a name; a name she had said plenty of times with a tenderness she could not, would not deny.

“I liked him very much… I think he only had me here. He wasn’t very close to his siblings, and didn’t talk to anyone else. I didn’t understand what they meant, when they said he was dangerous… Not until the third trial. He was always polite and gentle with me.” Anka hated that her voice broke.

No matter what anyone said, she felt the memory she would keep of him would not be his mad eyes, full of killing intent. It would be the curiosity in them when she had embraced him; the softness of his hands, and the timid blush on his pale cheeks when she had given him the sweets she had baked.

“I have stayed away from him this past month. There was much for me to do, between healing Lee-san and helping Yue train for the final exam.”

_ But mostly, I didn’t know how to approach him anymore. _

When she looked up at the new Hokage, Tsunade was focused on her tale, her hands interlaced in front of her mouth in a deep-thinking position.

“Did he not appear… unstable… to you?” She prompted.

Anka adverted her eyes as she remembered the look on his bloodshot eyes, his hands twisting in his hair, as if trying to rip hurtful thoughts from his head. The same had happened in the night, when she had joined him on the roof after c hasing him out of her room - an event she preferred to keep to herself.

“There was one time… But I calmed him. He didn’t look dangerous…just hurting.” Her voice was almost reduced to a whisper.

Anka couldn’t help but hope he was alright. Naruto had defeated him, that much she knew. He told her Gaara had run away with his siblings, probably to Suna, she knew never to come back. She couldn’t help that she would miss him; not the jade-eyed monster the others had seen, but the nice and lonely boy she had gotten to know.

Before long, Tsunade thanked Anka for sharing her information, dismissing her after a few words of reassurance. Konoha would be bitter towards Suna and Oto for a long time, but there would not be repercussions against her family if Tsunade could help it.

When Anka left the building, she felt drained of all energy. Konoha was partly destroyed, the wounded were still in counting,  and the 3 rd Hokage would be buried the next morning. Never had her father felt so ashamed of the blood in his veins, and frankly, she didn’t know what to think of hers anymore. 

When she spied the figures of Asano and Yue running towards her, she smiled despite the heavy feeling in her stomach. It felt like months since she had last seen them, when it had been hardly more than a day. When the girl crashed her into her arms, Anka felt like crying from the relief of seeing them both well.

Their world had just been shaken; but it served no purpose to think life could not go on. Konoha lived, and would keep on living as long as they would carry the Will of Fire.

As Anka held her friends tightly against her chest, she felt it burn proudly, deep into her heart; just next to a phantom pain with pale green eyes.

She did not know if this hollow feeling would last, what it would take to quell it, if she would ever forget. For now, the arms of her friends were holding all her broken parts together, and so Anka allowed herself to close her eyes and breathe deeply.

They would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for the first part !  
> The epilogue is a bit lame, I know. I didn't want it to feel like a 'bad ending', because it's not the end and they WILL find their way back to each other, I promise. Also I liked the idea that even though Konoha are the "good guys", any society in immediate post-war state starts pointing fingers.
> 
> I know you must be eager to read the second part (if only to forget this terrible epilogue haha!) and I do have a surprise about it that I think a lot of you will enjoy ~  
> But I would appreciate it immensely if you could take the time to leave me your thoughts on this story; how you liked it, if there were any parts you liked more than others, your hopes for the next part... 
> 
> Anyway ! Thank you all for reading, and see you immediately for the first chapter of the second part !


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